Wargaming ASKEW: My Greatest Fear
Next week I join the thousands that make the yearly pilgrimage to the wargaming nirvana known as Adepticon. It will be my first Adepticon and I cannot wait! Large conventions are nothing new to me, but the larger these events become the more I notice a frightening trend.
Let me take a second before I go any further to say, my shrink has asked for me to let people “in more” and talk about my “fears” in a more open manner. So in the spirit of full disclosure I want to let everyone know that while I’m not scared of much in this world; I do have an irrational fear of clowns, mimes, mascots, and most of all furries. I am talking like deathly afraid, like I tried to get a restraining order on Disneyland parks. That is right I have
Metamfiezomaiophobia
What does my medical condition have to do with wargaming or Adepticon? Well I am also developing an unhealthy fear of cosplay. Which at first was not a problem because I stayed far enough away from Japan to feel safe.
Still, slowly I noticed costume contests popping up at local gaming conventions. Which was fine because who is afraid of women in bodices or men in kilts besides farm animals? Then, all of sudden I noticed some dudes dressed up as Commissars looking like SS rejects. Followed by people in plastic card and resin cast Tau suits. Finally, small children painted and forced to look like a Gretchin quickly send me into the fetal position in no time.
When I woke up in the hospital, was when I began to really take a good look inside at myself and my fears. I started to wonder at what point did warhammer get cosplay? Did I miss something? Was it Dawn of War? Was it Final Fantasy VII and why do they have to make hospital gowns so drafty. I just could not put my finger on it.
Then, I realized that maybe there is a certain level where a hobby reaches critical cosplay mass.Cosplay could very well be one of the critical steps to enter the pop culture consciousness.
We don’t see Warmachine cosplay yet? There is no Battletech cosplay, while you can easily find Gundam cosplay. No one is looking like a Paracudisti for their Flames of War battles yet. Sure as Zeus’s beard there is Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney cosplay though. So should I be happy Games Workshop games have reached the point to which grown men can not only play their army, but wear it as well? Is the next step Sanguinor’s Bloody Wild Cherry Slurpies for a limited time only at your local 7-Eleven?
At the very least tournaments should add an extra soft score for cosplay. If we are giving out extra points for dioramas shouldn’t you get extra points if you look like a Seraphim complete with Hot Topic angel wings? Regardless if I am feeling faint watching someone call out Imperial Guard orders with a ham radio attached to their backs– effort should count for something.
Even with these realizations I am still scared. I just don’t get it. I thought this sort of thing was reserved for Halloween and sexy time with your partner, not for tabletop wargaming. Next week I will make my way to Adepticon with mild trepidation, having been ensured that cosplay is the least of my worries. As long as I avoid the team tournaments I should be safe. I just hope I have enough of that prescription my psychologist gave me just in case.
As always visit me and my cosplay gallery at http://bloodofkittens.com/
