Epic Fail! Jawaballs goes to ‘Ard Boys finals and gets pwned.
Hey Folks, Jawaballs here!
A defining quality of a man is his ability to step back from his ego and laugh at himself. Some of us definitely lack that ability. I, on the other hand, know all about eating humble pie.
First of all, I went to college for art… twice. Once to get my Bachelors in Arts: Art Studio, and again to get my Bachelor of Science: Art Education. Both times I had to sit through 2 hour long portfolio critiques that were usually quite scathing. The point is to send you out into the real world with no ego.
I suppose the ‘Ard Boys finals can be considered a continuation of those ego bashing sessions. I went to Media, PA with minimal expectations for my performance, but still, the glimmers of ‘Ard Boys Glory danced in my mind… just out of reach! I imagined myself posing for one of those cheezy White Dwarf pictures holding an over sized Ork Choppa or some such. Then reality hit me in the face.
I went with a good Blood Angels list, with lots of versatility. Two Land Raider Crusaders filled with Terminators, priests, Chaplains and Librarians. Two Vindicators, 5 Raorbacks with assault troops. A small elite force capable of dealing with a lot of different threats, and a last minute change and huge divergence from what I was going to bring.
Game One
I found myself against a Blob IG list. I tell you what, this list rocked. First of all, he had about 6 kill points, making him impossible to beat in a KP mission, but he had well over a hundred guardsmen. He had two massive platoons, bristling with las cannons and at least 9 power swords each. He had countless other squads, somehow packed into single massive units, each packing a Space Marine’s armies worth of melta guns and bombs. He had a psycher battle squad or two. Straken and Al Raladeem or whatever that dudes name is. Which by the way are squad upgrades and not even ICs. Straken? Being the first time I played against him, I was shocked to find out he was a monstrous creature squad upgrade sergeant. But what was worse, his big mobs were super guard. I knew they were tough nuts to crack, but I wanted to assault them anyway. So I charged one with a Terminator assault squad consisting of a Reclusiarch, Priest in Termy armor with PW, 4 LC Termies and 1 hammer. I killed 22 models on the charge before they could react. Their strikes back killed all but the reclusiarch. He had something like 27 swings with power weapons alone, and they had counter attack so they got the charge bonus, and were somehow stronger or tougher than normal. My mind went dizzy when he started listing off the buffs and bonuses they had and tuned out. It was unreal.
I have to say the list is a masterpiece and in a time when Mech is king, a list full of las cannons that can actually defend itself in assault owns. Mech is dead… Long live mech? To be fair to myself I knew I should not have assaulted him. I should have sat back on 3 of the objectives, and plopped my Vindicators in front of my Raiders to die and hopefully not explode, providing me with cover while sitting on the objectives. I could have hidden my Razors, and at the end done some tank-shocking contesting stuff and maybe squeaked out a tie or a minor win for myself. I left game one with one point and deflated dreams.
EDIT 7/25/10: I in no way want to insinuate that my round one opponent did any thing less than legit. I cannot comment on discus for some reason so I cannot answer the individual remarks concerning this. My opponent was a good player playing a great list with well practiced precision. Nothing less. Every thing he had was legitimate. He did not use the furious charge counter attack and he had a legal number of power weapons and upgrades. For those of you who missed the point of the article, the leafblower is not the only way to destroy people with guard, which is why I have a new found respect for the codex. It is definitely the best codex in 40k.
Game Two
I wound up against a Blood Angels list oddly familiar. Thats because the guy is an avid reader of my blog and played almost the exact list I posted up on my blog not long ago (the one I abandoned). He made a few tweaks, adding a Vindicator and two Tactical squads and giving the libbies different powers, but for the most part I was looking at a Jawa-clone! And crap, that list was built to destroy ones like mine… GULP!
The game started out with a soon to be infamous quirk where you had to line up a squad each in the center of the table to start the game. They charged each other to simulate a break down in peace talks. Foolish idiots, in the 41st millennium there is only WAR! Choosing to keep my Termies in their Raiders, I deployed a 5 man squad to their death.
As can be imagined, the game played out to a draw. I finished with about 400 more victory points which was not enough for a win and we split with 12 points each. I put a pretty serious hurting on him with my Terminators, and he counter assaulted and killed them all eventually. It was a fun game though! And for once, I was up against an army that I knew was not going to pull out any silly monstrous creature squad upgrades.
After only gaining 13 points in the first two games, I bowed out of the third round. An ork player who drove out from Tennessee quit after scoring zero points in the first two games, and the tournament organizer Mike was looking for another volunteer to bow to even out the field. Seeing as how my wife and baby made the trip with me and were hanging out with my buddy, I seized the opportunity to go earn some family points and meet them for dinner.
Previously I had avoided ‘Ard Boys like the plague saying that I don’t like playing against dudes who power game for the win. Then I became one of them! Well, it is safe to say that I left Media, PA with a freshly humbled and slightly bruised ego, and new appreciation for the IG codex. By the way, there were only two IG armies there. Both guys I see frequently since they are from CT and both armies were the same. The unkillable IG blob. That’s not really true, they are killable, very much so for the right army who had the tools to do it. I did not as I geared up to kill mech. I did get to talk to some great people, and had a fun time. OH, and Blood Angels did take third, with another army very similar to the one I was going to bring, and neither of the guard blob armies placed, showing that success in ‘Ard Boys is indeed based on a game of Paper, Rock, Scissors. It all comes down to matchup and luck of the draw.
Now that it is over I can get back to doing what I do best, painting Blood Angels. I have severely neglected my army since the new dex dropped, but have come up with a decent 2k point list and now I can focus on getting it painted. Also I am working on a Tau army! Check out the beginnings of it in this Crisis Suit tutorial. Be looking for some hobby stuff soon!
More to come… newly humble Jawaballs
