Remembering the (Chaos) Glory Days.
All this talk lately about Chaos has made me remember the Good Ol’ Days…
Mr. Black here, and if you couldn’t tell by now, I enjoy some things that are a bit… taboo… to some. Well, ok, maybe more than just some. But I will say this: no matter how depraved, sick, or twisted some of my hobbies and pass-times were I knew there was always one place I would be accepted, and that, dear readers, was in the loving embrace of the God of Excess him/herself, Slaanesh.
I recall long ago a while after I started this game (after I had gone through an awkward Dark Angel phase… Keeping that in the closet) I picked up my first chaos codex, which outlined the legions of the Emperor’s Children. I was instantly hooked like a Noise Marine on meth. In all honesty how could I pass it up? Fanatical troops who both excelled in mid-ranged combat as well as close-quarters? Tons of cool weaponry and the doorway for conversions? Massed groupies of half-naked Daemonettes at my beck and call (however much of a pain in the ass pinning their arms was)? I think that evidence speaks for itself, how anyone could have chosen anything different I just cannot imagine…
Now the reason I bring all this up is in part due to all the focus on the site lately about the Chaos Legions, Counts-as (Goatboy, told you all he was a bad influence, and not in the good way), and, well, how lame the new Chaos Codex is. First things first: I am not here to simply preach about how much better the old book was compared to the new one, we’ve heard that for some years now, I’m just here to fondly remember my old favorite army and some things I wish I could still see.
To begin, let me bring this to your attention: Emperor’s Children Datasheet. That, dear readers, is the Apocalypse Datasheet pertaining to running your own Emperor’s Children army… And I think it’s a total kick-in-the-pants, and not in the good way (is there a good way? I’ll research this, I promise.). Looking at it, it pretty much fixes most any issues I would have had with the army, aside from being able to summon Daemonettes. I look at it and think “this would be kick-ass as a White Dwarf Chapter Approved sheet”, and then it’s right back into the spiral of depression when I think about the current army format… Yes, Slaanesh has caused me to be a bit bi-polar these days, jumping from manic happiness to soul-crushing sadness in the span of a few minutes.
Annnd there we go, right back to happy bliss when I think about my old Blastmaster Predator with Mutated Hull and the swarms of 24 Daemonettes I would summon off of my Sacred Six Biker Squad second turn. Ah, glory days. Now to face the harsh truth: I could use all my time moping around and remembering the “good ol’ days”, but that doesn’t really get me anywhere now does it? So what can I do about it? Well I’m sure as hell not going to play Emperor’s Children the current way the book would want/allow me to, namely because I wouldn’t find it fun, the other alternative is a Counts-As army, but I simply refuse to do that as I don’t feel Space Wovles, Blood Angels, or hell, even Space Marines can make me feel at home… No, for now there just doesn’t seem to be any solution going down the Counts-As route I would find acceptable… So what about that datasheet?
Well, I won’t lie, I actually play-tested such an army about a year ago and found it rather exhilarating. Was it the same army from my youth that I loved so much? No, but it was a step in the right direction. Really I can’t find a solution right now that satisfies me, aside from wait for a Ruinous Powers book or, hell, a completely new Chaos Book, but really that comes down to my own personal reservations about not playing within the span of the given materials and how they are presented. I know many of you out there would have no qualms taking that data-sheet and just applying it to normal games, and you’d probably have a blast doing so. I have no issue with this, but for me the simple matter is I want a new codex, and can’t settle for anything different from such. Masochistic? Probably a little bit so, but I can’t be a sadist all the time, the remaining 5% has to be something different, so it may as well be that.
The game is ever-changing, we all know this and it is a fact that needs to be accepted. Sometimes things happen for good, sometimes they don’t, the Chaos Codex is an example of this. The 4th Edition book was great, a fantastic little bible full of neat and flavorful troops, units, and armies just begging to be constructed and played, and we loved it for that. But let us also remember the one before it, the precursory Chaos Codex along with all it’s rules issues, troubles, and general problems… “Cluster%&#$” comes to mind when I think about it… Those were bad times as well, but we don’t remember those, now do we? And now it seems things have just come full circle, with a codex that people hate and berate for it’s lack of uniqueness and, well, love.
It just has no soul… Weird given the context, but it’s true, and really that’s what drives people to hate it so. It’s not just a bunch of rules-mongers or WAACers complaining about the inability to win, it’s about players who are simply sad that the faction they chose to invest their interest in has become a husk of it’s former self. Not being able to be competitive is one aspect, won’t deny this, but akin to the Imperial Guard players of 4th Edition, the ones who endured loss after loss after loss, having the time of their lives doing so, the Chaos Players had their armies because they loved what they represented, the same reason any of us choose the faction we do… and to see it reduced to the bland, faceless thing it is now… Well even an old Slaaneshi-fiend like myself feels pity towards them.
