Age of Sigmar: I Have A Feeling (SATIRE)
Based on a breakdown of the what is contained in the new AoS book, from a picture of the contents page, I think I know exactly what will be in the new tome.
My years of 40K experience, time on the internet and intricate understanding of rumor (or is it humor?) mills give me a unique perspective.
Please note: as we are relying on a screen shot from a digital camera that could easily have been Photoshopped, all page numbers are approximate. Once again, SATIRE ALERT!
Pages 1-80: This section will detail the post-end times world. Not only will it contain great art and writing, but will provide information previously not presented in a GW book. It will detail the origin and evolution of each combatant species. Flora will be explored in detail as well, providing a wellspring of knowledge useful for almost any battle situation. Haven’t we always wanted to know how to use plants to assist in healing wounds, casting spells and exploiting rules? This new information will prove invaluable. Also expect to see very detailed information on the geological timeline of the world itself. A handy guide for finding various elements, rocks, minerals and geo-formations will be useful as you select units for each battle. Finally, expect to find a handy guide for utilizing GPS as you explore this new venue. Paper maps are so passe…NOBODY uses paper maps anymore.
Pages 81-110: I anticipate an amazing gallery of beautifully painted models, just we have come to expect from any GW publication. However, a few new features will also be included in this ground breaking volume. I strongly believe that each pictured mini will have a paint guide to provide modelers, both new and experienced, with an easy way to identify the materials that will be needed. What a novel concept! Moreover, each mini will be shown in unassembled form, and instructions will be provided for assembly. Finally, there will be a list of prohibited colors for each model…we wouldn’t want people thinking too much out of the box. Given this new material, expect to see about 5-6 minis in this part of the book.
Pages 111-220: Lots and lots of scenarios. By lots and lots, I mean 6-8. This should keep us all busy for a while. Wait a minute you say. We are talking 110 pages here…shouldn’t we expect at least 20-25 scenarios? Well, you are once again using the old paradigm and the usual reliance on unverified rumors to figure this out. Think out of the box young sirs! These scenarios are going to be exceptionally detailed. Remember all the new information we are getting? Species evolution, flora, geology and GPS mapping information will take up a fair amount of space in putting each scenario into context. I cannot imagine how this information, as well as the usual “useful” drivel that they provide could take up less than 6-8 pages. I mean seriously, isn’t 6-8 highly detailed and fascinating scenarios enough for you?
Pages 221-250: Battlescrolls and Battalions. This section promises to provide detail such as we have seldom seen from GW. Battlescrolls will be 8/page. I know this seems small, but since you can download them for free, they wisely decided to cram as many as possible on a page. The also leaves plenty of room for all of the new units that will be presented. I have heard reliable rumors of flying monkeys and pigs, iron robots, tree stumps, walking bonfires, disembodied swords and goat riding rabbits . One can never tell what might show up. And with all this new unit goodness, they will need all the space they can get to have enough room for everything.
Pages 251-???: I am convinced that we will also see additional rules. These will include an actual point system (thank goodness!), detailed instructions for creating and using terrain, suggested conversions (we don’t need no stinking WYSIWYG!) and best of all, 10 pages of table and charts to help simplify game play.
Well, that’s it! I am confident that is what we will be seeing as the new book hits the shelves. It all makes perfect sense; nes pas?
