40K: Let’s Talk Squats
Hold on to your stuntie trousers because we’re going there. Let’s talk about the Squats!
Hey BoLS Readers. If you’re an old veteran you know that every time you mention the name “Squats” you reset the clock. For you new players you may not even know what the “Squat Clock” is – or who the Squats are for that matter! Well, it’s time to get you all educated in the ways of the Space Dwarves for yore.
So mysterious, yet popular enough to have an actual wikipedia page..
From Lexicanum:
“Squats (Homo sapiens rotundus) were short, stocky and tough abhumans. Of all the abhuman types, they most closely resembled humans. Squats were the descendants of humans who colonised the worlds around the galactic core in the far distant past. These worlds are some of the oldest in the galaxy, formed when the laws of physics had yet to be stabilized.”
The basic description of Squats is that they are descendants of human colonists that colonized world around the galactic core where the gravity caused them to become “abhuman” and-squat like. Basically gravity created these Space Dwarfs. For the earlier editions of the game, the Squats were a full fledged army as well.
Squats reminded me of a vertically challenged motorcycle gang…
Somewhere along the line Games Workshop decided to kill the army. At first, the disappearance was due to the “new” Tyranid threat that had invaded the core worlds and basically ate the Squat civilization. But then things got pretty ugly. As fan outcry got louder, Games Workshop retreated further and further away from the Squats to the point where they basically just retconned their existence away.
That was the case until the 6th edition Rulebook where there was an unexpected side note:
So someone either slipped this in or wasn’t in the loop about the Squats. Now, I know what many folks are thinking: “So what, it’s just a blurb about abhumans, what gives?” Well there is some “evidence” that Games Workshop might be bringing them back – but not as Squats, but as the Demiurg.
Who doesn’t love a good conspiracy theory, right?!
Note: I just want to say this up front – this is all speculation and I’m half-joking about this but it’s all in good fun so bear with me.
The Demiurg were already in Battle Fleet Gothic:
and have shown up AGAIN in the digital frontier as well:
Games Workshop has concept art for them:
Squats are also one of the last remaining…let’s call them “Nostalgia Armies” from Rogue Trader days:
via Mundo warhammer (Pinterest)
Many of their weapons already have stats in the game:
“Several of the weapons now in regular Imperial service were originally developed by the Squats: this includes the Leviathan super-heavy assault transport, Thunderfire cannon, Thudd gun and Mole mortar. “(Lexicanum)
That’s Squat-Tech, baby!
But I think the BIGGEST reason is a business reason – the competition is already tapping into the Squat sized void left in gamer’s hearts:
Mantic’s Forge Fathers
If you think Games Workshop hasn’t noticed these guys around Nottingham you’re only fooling yourself. Personally, I think it’s a matter of time before the Squats DO make a resurgence. I’m frankly surprised we haven’t seen them come out as an ally to the Tau already. Maybe that was the intention the whole time. The Demiurg fleet is basically part of the Tau forces so how long until we see some ground support? Only GW knows…
Want to Learn more? Check out our sister site Lexicanum at the links below:
Squats Page
Demiurg Page
What’s your take? Should the Squats make a comeback? Also how would they be represented on the Tabletop? What Type of “army archetype” would they fit under?
