40K: Top 5 Goofiest Grim Dark Miniatures
It’s time to take a look at the Top 5 Goofiest Models in all of the Grim Dark.
Games Workshop has a fantastic line of models with their Warhammer 40,000 offerings – but every now and then a Model just seems, well, goofy. There is something about it that is just off and when you look at it, the model just snaps you out of the immersion of the game for a moment.
What do I mean by “Goofy?” Well, here at BoLS we had a few criteria were using to find these models:
- More “Toy-Like” vs “Model-Like” – this one is purely aesthetic so it really falls on the viewer to judge. But really, when the completed kit comes out looking more “Cartoon” than “Grim Dark” we’ve got a problem.
- Takes you out of the “Game World” – We all know that these kits are based on fictional things, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t at least pretend to be functional. When you see something so nonsensical that you have to stop and say, “No, that can’t work like that” that’s a problem.
- Doesn’t Match Fluff – There are certain models that don’t make sense until you read the background about them. But then there are models that also happen to just ignore the rest of the Grim Dark Technology around them and that makes them rattle the internal consistency. When a model is contradicting the universal lore, that’s not good either.
Now before we get into those Goofy models, I want to give you all the bonus round FIRST this time. These are all models that are iconic to the Grim Dark but AREN’T “Goofy” looking.
Bonus Round – Not Goofy Models:
Land Raider
The Land Raider – it’s a classic!
Valkyrie
The Valkyrie – it’s got a strong “Imperial Look” to it and it seems plausible and realistic.
Night Scythe
The Night Scythe is a great example of something that looks non-Imperial and cool – plus it makes sense when you read the lore behind it and doesn’t contradict the rest of the Necron tech. Tesla Destructors, a Repulsor Drive and it has Necron Teleportation tech to allow it to “transport” units. Sure it’s a pain to deal with but that doesn’t make it a Goofy model.
Crimson Hunter
The Crimson Hunter is one of those models that makes me think the basic design could actually achieve flight. It’s sleek like an actual aircraft and I’m pretty sure with the right engineering team behind it, this kit could fly. It also still has a very distinct “Eldar” feel to it. Games Workshop somehow managed to make it both unique and realistic at the same time.
Now, On to the Top 5 Goofiest Models In the Grim Dark…presented in no particular order.
The List – Top 5 Goofy Models
Stormraven Gunship
This model looks like a flying brick. On top of that it’s front-loaded and it just doesn’t work. Here’s the thing, I know what the designers were going for – it’s supposed to be a cross of a Land Raider and Thunder Hawk. I get that – and if you look hard enough you can see it. But the problem is that somewhere in the execution, it just stopped working. Maybe the fuselage needed to be extended further back…maybe the VTOL style engines needed to be larger…I don’t know. All I know is that it’s GOOFY!
Compare it to the Storm Eagle from Forge World – now that’s a Flying Transport/Gunship!
Logan Grimnar on Stormrider
Do I even need to explain myself on why this model made the list? What the heck, GW? You took Logan Grimnar, one of the fiercest Space Wolves of all time and you turned him into “Logan Grimnar, aka Killer Santa” – why?! This looks ridiculous and vain. Why is he being pulled by wolves?! How does he even control their movement? Why did you create a viking hover-boat for him to ride in? Does it even work on water? Hoverboards don’t work on water!
Nemesis Dreadknight
Okay, so you watched The Matrix 3 and you thought it was way cooler than everyone else did. But why is a Grey Knight in Terminator Armor wearing a Mech Suit? And this thing is high tech enough to be able to “shunt” through space, but it doesn’t have a force field? I mean, c’mon! This is one of those models that breaks the established lore by ignoring the rest of the technology. It also looks goofy the longer you look at it…”Let’s put a Grey Knight Terminator in a Power Loader!” How about no.
Taurox Prime
This model is SOOOOO close to being cool and yet “somehow” it falls short. Okay, it’s actually not a mystery why this model missed the mark. Tires. All this model needed was to have the front axle have tires. The real shame is that it’s such an easy fix.
With the quad track look it’s just off. It’s an awkward design decision. Couple that with the double fender look and it’s just…wrong. There is a reason you go Half-Track or Full Track and not Quad Track. You never go Quad Track.
Raven Wing Darkshroud
…And I’m done here.
What do you think of the Top 5 Goofiest looking Models in the Grim Dark? What model do you think deserves to be on this list?
