Every 40k Player Needs a Man-Purse
Pimpcron is coming at you this week with some fashion advice. Take from that what you will.
Hello you fabulous people! The Pimpcron has just flown in from Paris and is chock full of new fashion ideas for you burly gamer types! So what am I talking about? Well, even I just barely know. I’m talking about the benefits of having a gaming bag that isn’t a transport for your models. A gaming bag that holds all of your other crap.
Why Do I Need a Man-Purse?
Well when you really think about it, there are a lot of peripheral gaming accessories that we need for this game. And many army transports don’t have an ample amount of pockets for all of said paraphernalia. If you travel to game, like to a store or a friend’s house, you’ll need to bring a Large Blast Template, Small Blast Template, Flamer Template, Scatter dice, a Dice Cube, Tape Measure, Main Rulebook, Army Codex, any Supplements you use, objective markers, and anything else you use.
You could go the homeless route and bring it all in a plastic grocery bag, or the homeless hipster route in a hemp grocery bag. Or the Khorne route in a hollowed out skull of one of your foes, but then we start getting into some legal gray area. I, for one, use a Diaper Dude diaper bag.
Hilarious, right? I’m not joking. Here’s my bag.
I got it for free, so that’s why I use it, but it does an awesome job of keeping all of my gaming crap together. In addition to all of the stuff I previously listed, I also keep Stronghold Assault, 3 sets of dice cubes in case one starts rolling crappy, Battle Missions book, and an Apoc flame template. I have so many armies, that I was always forgetting to bring stuff when I switched armies so I started using this. I was constantly having to borrow tape measures, rule books, and dice. Now I know that whatever army I bring that week, I have all of my core stuff with me.
Ya know, I’ve been doing this blogging thing for almost 3 years now, with around 115 articles posted, and I never ever thought that this job would take me to a place where I share a list of my man-purse contents with readers. I’m feeling a mixture of freedom and embarrassment; kind of like my first night as a male stripper for a strip-o-gram company. Whose first stop was a Nursing Home. Where my grandmother stays. She’s not a bad tipper, but Thanksgiving and Christmas has been awkward.
Whoops, I let my guard down for one minute and out comes the insanity. Back to the topic at hand.
40k Man Purses Can Actually Save You Money
Well for one, it allows you to buy cheaper army transports that aren’t littered with pockets. If you ever looked into buying an army transport, you’ll notice that they are not cheap, and only the more expensive ones have a good amount of pockets if they have pockets at all. So by purchasing a cheap satchel or diaper bag like yours truly, you can save money on not having to get top of the line army transports.
Hugh Jackman uses one. As an added bonus, carrying that weight apparently makes your arms huge.
As a bonus, you’ll save a lot of money when you use the man-purse, because it acts as a female-repellent. You’ll save money by not spending it on dates and meals gambling on a slim chance at procreation practice. I’m just kidding, women nowadays don’t care if you carry a man-purse around full of stuff to play toy wars with. And do you know who we thank for that? Jerry Seinfeld. He was the pioneer of man-purses in his show Seinfeld. Thanks to him, it entered our social lexicon in the early 90’s and has had time to simmer. Plus, she’ll be more upset by what’s in it versus the actual purse.
Here is Seinfeld from the episode, talking to a dark-haired Wookie.
Lastly, Don’t Call It A Man Purse
Except in situations where comedy is needed, don’t refer to it as a man purse. I call mine my Action Satchel of Brutality. Doesn’t that sound way cooler? There is enough going against us socially as nerds, the last thing we need is to actively give “normal people” ammunition against us.
So it’s best to give it a manly name like I did which is aimed at confusing the other person and helping to fend off any further questions about your man pur- … Action Satchel of Brutality. But I will warn you that if a police officer is searching you and asking what that bag is you’re carrying, remember to be polite, humble, and honest. Call it a man purse and maybe he will have pity on you. Calling it by your awesome, manly name you gave it may just escalate the situation.
Do you any of you use some sort of bag to carry your extra stuff? If not, then our Patron Saint Jerry Seinfeld is ashamed of you.
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