A Guide To 40k Internet Comments
Pimpcron helps you read between the lines.
So your pride and joy, Pimpcron, is writing this to help you navigate the unforgiving waters of the 40k internet community. This is a handy-dandy notebook for n00bs and veterans alike. Print it out. Hand it out. Spread the love.
We hear lots of things being said on the internet. Have you been on that thing? It’s nuts. It’s like everyone is angry, horny, and snarky all at the same time. The following is what I’ve found while dragging myself through the mud that is 40k group-think, internet mentality.
“My Army is Unplayable”
This is one of three things.
A: The person saying this is bad at the game and doesn’t know strategy. He smashes a bunch of stuff together to make a list out of crayon and toilet paper and rolls some dice. I bet he can’t even spell synergy. He pushes some models across the field and dies. He’s mad because clearly, Napoleon is his Animal Spirit and it couldn’t POSSIBLY be his fault that he lost. So his army is unplayable. Sure.
It can’t be me. I’m never not good at something.
B: The person playing it used to play this army during an older edition of the game, or an older edition of his codex. With every new codex, they change stuff here and there. Sometimes this makes an army play very differently and people get mad. I can’t really blame them; they want to play the game the way they want to play it and they get mad because it doesn’t work anymore. But that’s kind of like complaining that your old TV remote doesn’t work with your new TV. I feel for you, but you gotta roll with the changes.
C: The person plays casually and fluffy in a very hardcore gaming group. Let’s be honest, not all codices are equal power level. So if your gaming group play style doesn’t match yours, it will feel like your army is unplayable.
“That Army is Broken”
The person complaining plays with a person or gaming group that doesn’t match his play style. [See above] The sea of competitive gaming that he’s swimming in is a bit too strong a current for this little fish. Any army HAVING nasty over-powered stuff doesn’t mean the jerk behind the army list has to bring three of them if their opponent if bringing a fluffy list. It’s amazing how just switching opponents who have the same army can make the army go from “broken” to “normal”.
I know what they mean. The Black side always alpha-strikes me and I lose all my pawns.
“Pro-Painted”
This is a term that is plastered all over ebay when selling a model that has even a drop of paint on it. Of course it gets over-used, but generally speaking, it means a model painted to at least table top quality. In sales, it doesn’t matter so much if your claims are true, it’s more about grabbing attention. Lines get blurred. It’s like the whole thing with Used Car Dealerships that always gets me laughing. Some dealerships call their stock “OK Used Cars” while some are “Gently Used” and other still are “Pre-Owned”. They all mean the same thing. They are probably all just “OK”.
If I ever stop posting this pic, just assume I’ve died.
“He’s a Power Gamer”
[Read: He’s a jerk.] Once again, see above. Didn’t you learn anything from Albert Einstein? Everything is relative, and wargaming slurs are not different. If said Power Gamer is in a gaming group that matches his play style of using dice to crush the spirit of others, then he wouldn’t be called a Power Gamer. He’d be called, I don’t know. Simon. Or whatever his given name is. Even though WAAC players may all seem the same, they are actually different people; different parents and all. They all just happen to speak Bruh.
“You’re a GW Fan Boy”
Gosh, if I had a nickel … well I guess I’d have about five cents. I lost the metaphor.
Anyway, somebody in my position (savior to the masses, icon of perfection and what-not) but mostly a 40k blogger, gets called this every other week.
If you say anything nice about Games Workshop to a jaded player or ex-player, you are suddenly a Fan Boy. It’s their attempt to discredit what you are saying by saying that you’d love anything GW does. You see, no matter how correct you are, a miniatures game company has personally injured this person in some terrible way. So don’t you dare take up for their arch-enemy.
Oh, the things that corporation did to me. [sobs]
Jokes aside, this adult misses the fun they used to have with this company’s games, and is upset that things changed. Who can blame them? Everything changes in life and humans generally have a hard time coping with change.
Pro Tip: Instead of being jaded, try to remember WHY you enjoyed their games. Was it the camaraderie with fellow gamers? The game mechanics? If you’re being honest, you probably just miss that part of your life and it’s tinted with nostalgia. But whatever your issues are, let other people enjoy the things they like. And that goes for when we call people power gamers … I guess. No, it doesn’t. I take that back. Do as I say, not as I do dear readers. 😀
What other terms do we use that have hidden meaning?
