‘Global Survival’ is Definitely “Not” the Worst Game Ever
Global Survival has one of the worst rankings on BoardGameGeek. Let’s explain how it’s definitely, totally not the worst ever. For sure.
On the surface, Global Survival seems like a perfectly innocuous game. It’s really only when you start playing that how great it is. And by “great”, I mean very clear, intuitive, and how uncluttered everything is. The game is currently one of the lowest-ranked games on BoardGameGeek. Today we are going to explain why everyone but me is wrong.
At first glance, the game might seem like Monopoly, but it’s totally different in a lot of ways. Let’s go over how.
It’s Not Just Over-Complicated Monopoly
Global Survival plays on a square board. Each player starts at the corner of the board and moves around the edge of the board by rolling dice.
Monopoly only has one path around the game board, which is boring and lame. Global Survival ups the excitement by adding two paths around the board. One of the corners on the board has the player’s pawns move from the inside path to the outside and vice versa.
Similarly to the board being clear and simply defined, the pawns and dice used within the game are obvious in their usage. And because it’s so obvious, I won’t bother wasting your time explaining how each die is used.
Once again, Global Survival takes what Monopoly has previously done and does it better, faster, and sexier.
When a player lands on a space, they have the option to purchase that country. That is very different from how Monopoly typically works, where you buy up properties in Atlantic City, The Land of Ooo, Westeros, Gotham, Gallifrey, Quahog, Hill Valley, Halloweentown, Tattoine, The Magic Kingdom, or the Kanto Region. None of those places are even real.
The game comes with country cards to explain everything you might need to know about the country. Is all this information necessary to play the game? Of course not, but that’s what makes Global Survival unique. Global Survival gives you more than you ever asked for (or wanted) in a game.
Fortunately, Global Survival tells you every minute piece of information about the country you’re buying up. Maybe you’re unsure about the socioeconomic standing of Pakistan, and will avoid buying Afghanistan knowing that they are key trade partners. Again, Global Survival has you covered.
Plus, the global political stage hasn’t really changed since 1992. So, that’s good.
Finally, and certainly the most important: Money.
In Monopoly, you begin the game with a paltry and meager $1,500. BORING! That kinda cash ain’t nothin’ in Global Survival! In Global Survival, you start with $200,000,000,000! Two hundred billion dollars!
Global Survival knows the worst part of Monopoly is running out of money, so they made sure that you never run out ever. This ensures that the chances of a player getting eliminated from running out of money is very low. In fact, the back of the box even says that the players have full control of how long the game will play! Giving the power to the players!
On top of that, because the game board has 250 spaces, there’s basically no chance of you actually landing on an opponent’s space. So you don’t even really have to worry about spending any money at all.
The only time you will have to spend money is during the game’s random events. Each time a player lands on a new space they check an events book. These events will give and take money from the player without them having any say in the matter. But, rest assured, the amounts gained and lost are so insignificant so it won’t affect the game at all.
Yet another great design choice.
Next time we’ll discuss the unfair travesty of the rating of Tic-Tac-Toe.
