‘Monopoly’ Plays Pretty Fast, If You Actually Play By the Rules
Monopoly is a board game known for many things, not the least of which is that it takes forever to complete. Turns out, it’s not supposed to.
You know that as soon as Hasbro released a Cheater’s Edition of Monopoly, the game was cooked. But even as they are reportedly working on a Monopoly movie, it’s not surprising the game would come up in discussion every now and then. However, any time people talk about Monopoly, it’s never in a good way.
Monopoly Rules Have Become Oral Tradition
Monopoly is a board game that has long been thought to take hours and hours to complete. I’ll let great American orator Dr. Cook explain…
There are many house rules which have become so ingrained into every household. No one reads the rules of Monopoly. You learn from a young age, either from your parents, friends, school, or whatever. However, as with many oral traditions, they evolve, and new rules are added.
Each of these rules was likely added with the intention of making the game fun or accessible for children by making it easier. However, they have each horribly backfired and only add length to an already very repetitive game.
Don’t Add Money to Free Parking Jackpot
Probably the most commonly added house rule is that each time money is paid to the bank, that money goes into the middle of the board to form a pot of cash. Whoever lands on Free Parking gets to collect that money. In some variant rules, the game even begins with some cash in the middle of the board, usually somewhere in the $200 to $500 range.
This doesn’t work for one major reason. Monopoly is a board game about running out of money. With this added house rule, money is rarely removed from play and simply moved around from player to player.
In a game where players are eliminated when they run out of money, making it more difficult to run out of money is probably not the right way to go. Out of all the house rules added to the Monopoly board game, this one bothers me the most, so I’d be glad to be doing my part to get rid of it.
So what does Free Parking actually do? According to the official rules, absolutely nothing. It’s just the only space on the board where nothing happens. It’s a free space.
Don’t Take Loans
A less commonly added house rule is allowing players to take loans from the bank. THIS is the real get-out-of-jail-free card. The main reason you’d be taking a loan from the bank is if you can’t pay some required fee. But that’s how you lose the game. You lost. Deal with it.
Similarly to Free Parking, the game takes forever because these house rules only make it more difficult for players to become eliminated. If you need some extra cash, that’s when you start to mortgage your properties. But you’re probably doing that wrong too.
A Lot Goes Into a Mortgage
Out of every actual rule in Monopoly, mortgaging properties is probably the most confusing.
A property can not be mortgaged if it has been improved. Once you’ve built upon that property, you can’t mortgage it anymore. However, you are allowed to sell houses and hotels back to the bank in order to free up the property for mortgage.
Additionally, properties that have been mortgaged don’t collect rent. If another player lands on your mortgaged property, they pay you nothing.
Finally, lifting a mortgage on a property costs whatever the mortgage itself costs plus an additional 10%. Like all of these house rules, this one also encourages players to hold onto their money longer, which we’ve pointed out is counterproductive.
Auction Every Property
Alright, we’ve reached the big daddy of missing Monopoly board game rules. The one major, official rule that everyone misses. It’s been there since the beginning and somehow, over time, slipped through the cracks.
You read that right. If a player lands on a property and declines to buy it, it goes up for auction to all players. This means that every time an unclaimed property gets landed on, someone will walk away with the deed, even if for $1. The digital versions of the game have done a great job of making this rule more common knowledge, but it still slips under the radar too often.
This rule alone stands to cut playtime down tenfold. It guarantees that properties will get bought up quickly and start the bulk of the game much sooner. Once every property is bought, money will start moving hands more often and start the inevitable shift in power, which will still make everyone else frustrated and annoyed. But at least it won’t take quite as long.
What Monopoly house rules have you played with and regretted?
