Malign Portents: Skaven ‘Scheme-Plans’
What have the Skaven been up to with the Malign Portents happening all around? Why ‘Scheme-Planning’ of course. Truly, the Mortal Realms would fall to the Skaven tide if it weren’t for such…incompetence.
The latest story from the Malign Portents is here – The Great Gnaw – and it showcases why the Skaven are such an insidious threat – if they could ever get their act together.
Our story opens with a hooded figure hunched over a crystal globe – observing what looks to be an army of Skaven about to launch an attack on the undead stronghold of Nagashizzar. A legion of slaves, Warlock Engineers, Warlords, and massive rat-beasts all lead by Snitterskritch are all packed inside of a massive tunnel. The plan is fairly simple – drill-dig up from beneath and launch the an assault to “teach the dead-things to stay dead!” Inspired words, for a Skaven.
However, this is the Skaven we’re talking about. No matter how well they might do on the tabletop, this is just a universal truth in the lore – 99% of their plans don’t work out how they think they are going to work out. In fact, most of them backfire quite spectacularly! I won’t spoil the story for you but this was telegraphed a mile away.
What I’ve always found curious about the Skaven is that despite their loses, their backstabbing, and their straight-up incompetence, they can still be a very serious threat. They are kind of like the Cobra-Commander of bad guys in Warhammer. Their plans are wacky, but ultimately if they ever worked out, they could actually take over! But there is always a hiccup to stop them. Either heroes step in and fight back – or more commonly they trip themselves-up.
Even in this story it’s a little unclear is the cloaked figure was wanting Snitterskritch to actually succeed, or if they wanted things to turn out how they did. Maybe it’s the Skaven double-speak or maybe it’s the way the figure sounds as if they are trying to convince themselves that “My Plan is working perfectly!” It’s hard to tell – plus never trust a Skaven on Warpstone.
At least we’re getting a look at what the Skaven have been up to while these events are happening. Turns out they are keeping themselves entertained. Guess we can all hold off on calling pest control for a bit longer.
Oh Skaven. What did you think of this latest story from the Malign Portents? And will the Skaven ever get a major victory?
