Pimpcron: Win at 40k = Win at Life
Listen to this robot, he’s got a couple of millennia on you. Stop Procrastinating and just DO IT gamers!
Party People! Crank up the bass, step into the woofer, and have yourself a read. The Pimpcron is back with a brand new track that’s got everybody in the club going mad. I recently had a conversation with my friend who won’t be named. For the purposes of this article, assume his name is Indigo Llama. I probably shouldn’t choose a name so similar to his real name (Indigor Llamus esq. III) but I don’t think he reads my column. He’s always too busy prosecuting vigilantes in the lower Detroit area. Now, hang on guys and gals, this story is gonna get weird but this conversation actually happened and the moral behind it is very real.
Indigo Revealed Something Sad
Anyway, we were talking and he lamented that he has a good job with the Weaponized Yo-Yo Labs, but it’s not the job he wants. He went to school for saucy adult puppeteering [yes, I’m bringing this back, it delights me] and that is his passion. Indigo said that he has such a passion for X-rated Puppeteering, but he’s gotta pay the bills and his good job at the Labs does that for him. But sadly his heart isn’t in it. Once you get bit by the Adult Puppeteering bug, you’re a sexy-puppet man for life.
“I won’t admit this to just anybody, but my secret dream is to a Daemonette. I’m not really into skulls.”
He said, “Well, maybe one day I can save up enough money to put down the lethal yo-yos and put my hand in a felt puppet.” I picked up on the literal sadness in his voice, and I asked Indigo why he didn’t follow his dream on the side. Why do you have to wait until some magical day when suddenly the planets will align, and you can follow your dream? This may sound cliché or new age nonsense to some, but it is a serious question. We all make so many excuses why we can’t do what we want to do today.
I’m Not Unreasonable
I get why you may not be able to just go out and buy a house boat and drift away if that was your life’s dream. Money is a big factor for almost everybody (except my friend Moneybags McRainingBenjamins Steve). So nearly everyone throws their hands up in the air and says, “Maybe one day I’ll win the lotto. Clearly there is no possible way in this dimension that I could even take one step towards something I want to do.”
That could not be further from the truth.
“If I’m being honest, I wish Wyches wore more clothes. It gets drafty in the Webway. Ah, they’ll never listen to me . . .”
Tomorrow is not guaranteed, and life has a sneaky way of slipping by without notice. From that first day you said you wished you could do something, a year passes, then five, then twenty years. Suddenly you find yourself at the end of your life and you’re still stuck at that yo-yo laboratory finding new ways to commit murder with them. All the while you never put one knuckle into a puppet like your heart yearns for. Why? Because your dumb monkey brain said that it can’t be done right “now”, it’ll have to be at some magical time in the future. Dude, life is too damn short.
It is No Different Than Our Warhammer Hobby
You decide what your goal is on the table or off, and figure out how to accomplish it. Want to start a new army? Want to beat a particular player’s army? Want to get better at painting? None of that will happen at some magical point in your life. If money is a factor, start saving. “But Pimp, I’m broke! I can’t save!” I hear some of you saying. Get real. Certainly there are things in your life that could be cut out in order to save money for your goals. Stop smoking, get a 2nd job (or a 1st one), stop eating out lunch all the time, get a roommate, etc. If you have decided that a new Warhammer army, or a new car, or a better job, or whatever is your goal, stop whining and start working towards it. Master miniature painters don’t get that way overnight. People who own multiple armies didn’t suddenly find them in a dumpster. The players who beat everyone aren’t some sort of savant, born with a silver tactical manual in their mouths. All of this comes from hard work and planning.
“I started out as a paint pot, now look at me! On my way to following my dream of being an air brush.”
The Moral
Stop whining. Cut out the excuses. You find your goals and dreams, start small and do them on the side while continuing your current life. Don’t be stupid and drop everything to go pursue an uncertain dream. Don’t tell me what you CAN’T do, tell me what you CAN. You keep lethalizing those yo-yos while wearing puppets-gloves in your spare time. Ultimately, if you become the next hot item in the adult puppet scene, you can drop that deadly yo-yo game and really do what you want.
I mean it. If you let your brain dismiss this advice, you only have yourself to blame. Nobody’s trying to take away your right to keep yourself miserable.
~What have you been putting off gamers? What’s your excuse?
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