Pimpcron: What If You Had To Quit?
Pimpcron has the toughest question for all hobbyist: What if you had to quit?
Hey there peoples and persons. The person voted Most Likely to Stick It To The Man in high school, Pimpcron, is here with a heart-wrenching hypothetical. WHAT IF YOU HAD TO QUIT PLAYING WARHAMMER???
I just got chills. Did you? Truth be told, I peed a little.
We all hit the hobby slump every now and then, and I think that it is perfectly natural for a pastime that is so involved. I’ve been about to leave for playing Warhammer with a friend when I just can’t get up the urge to play. I try to think of anything I can to get the urge up, but it stays all floppy. I even try watching some battle reports ahead of time to get the urge up before playing my own game, but with minimal results. More than once I’ve had to admit to a friend that I can’t get my urge up to play Warhammer and they are usually understanding. The Warhammer urge just isn’t strong like it was when I was younger. Man, when I was younger, I could play Warhammer all night but with multiple different opponents. 6,000 point games, huge group battles, you name it.
But ultimately I think that it is natural and nothing to worry about. Give yourself some time and the urge should come back to you.
Ask you doctor if Heresy is right for you. Side effects include tentacles, and persecution.
But What If You Had To Quit All Together?
I love this hobby so much, I have a hard time imagining a time when I had to quit completely. But of course there are plenty of situations where you’d have to quit and sell off your armies. You marry a low-key dictator, you went broke trying to feed your pet camel, or your bank was actually a sewer drain you’ve been making deposits into each week. Of course you might have to quit playing because the investigators finally caught you, your army got up and did a whole Toy Story thing, or you forgot that you play Wahammer.
Whatever the reason, the idea of quitting Warhammer makes me so sad. So sad in fact, that I think this article is over. See ya next week!
Physicians testing the natural player enhancement drug Heresy with patients.
Alright, I’ve been told that I have to keep typing.
Think of All The Things You’d Miss
My biggest loss from quitting would be my friendships I’ve made in this game. My weekly club nights at the local store are something I look forward to each and every week. I’ve made so many friends and not having a reason to hang with them anymore really breaks my heart. Of course some of you are saying that I don’t HAVE to play Warhammer with them an we could just hang out. But the truth is, I don’t really like any of these people. So the only way I tolerate them is when diluted with Warhammer. Plus my charisma is so potent that most people can’t handle it if I stare directly at them, I need something else to focus on. My therapist hates it.
“Pimpcron, I swear to God if I find you staring at me through my window again, I’m calling the cops.”
I’d miss the hobby too. Cutting my hand with X-acto knifes, gluing my fingers together, and buying overpriced models. Plus what else will I do when I’m supposed to be spending time with my family? Without the hobby, I’d have to actually listen to my wife and kids drone on about their day. Let’s be honest for a moment, the Warhammer hobby is the only respite I get from them. I can just politely ignore them until they stop talking and I can claim that I didn’t hear them because I was so engrossed in the painting.
What About Time Lost?
I only have X number of hours to live on this planet. Every single second spent is one less that I have to use later. So when I look at my Warhammer armies, I’m seeing the physical manifestation of my life force made real. I worked and traded the beats of my heart for money to afford the models. I spent countless breaths assembling the models. I watched as the sand trickled out of my hour glass as I painted these models. I watched myself get older in the mirror as I started doing hard drugs. Whoops. I don’t think that was really Warhammer related. But I have taken the only truly finite resource that I have, my life force, and spent it on these armies. Then spent even more time playing games and making friends with them. These armies are my legacy and attached to them are all of the fun I’ve had.
If I had to quit this hobby, it would be a sad day indeed. I hope it never comes to that.
Sorry if this article is weird, I wrote it during my 14th and 15th hours of work today and I’m a bit delirious. I had a long day at work and almost didn’t write an article for your hungry eyes. But I know you’d be disappointed and I don’t like breaking promises. So maybe these silly articles are also a piece of me that I’d miss if I had to quit Warhammer too.
What Would You Miss Most If You Quit? Have You Quit and Do You Miss It?
We’re on Podbean, Stitcher, iTunes, Spotify, and others!
Pimpcron’s Warhammer Convention
Or contact me at [email protected] for the latest rules if you don’t do the Facebooks.
