D&D: Oh The Planes You’ll Go (Even If You Don’t Want To)
The cosmos of Dungeons and Dragons are home to breathtaking beauty and divine grace–that’s not where we’re going though.
There comes a time in every adventuring party’s career, usually around levels 6-8, aka by about the time they’ve taken out their third boss in a single round of combat and wondered “is this game even hard”, that most DMs start looking at threats beyond the Prime Material plane. Worlds of wonder lie out there, beyond planar portals, magical storms gone awry, and bags of holding tossed carelessly into a portable hole.Worlds where glittering, jeweled seas wash up against white shores and beyond, a far green country under a swift sunrise.
But that’s not where we’re going. Nope, today we’re taking a look at the five worst places in the D&D Multiverse.
Elemental Plane of Fire
It’s a whole plane, but it’s also on fire. If you’re lucky enough to live in one of the brass cities you’re only living amid metal radiating heat like an oven. If not, well then get ready to discover how you can be on fire, jump into a river (of fire) and start dorwning in it, only to breathe in air that is vaporous fire, according to the Manual of the Planes. Fun place.
Shadowfell
One of the definitions for shadow is: ominous oppressiveness, or sadness and gloom. One of the definitions for fell is: of terrible evil or ferocity; deadly. There’s a reason everyone calls it the Darkbad.
Evershifting Chaos of Limbo
A lot happens here. And all of it at once. You might be able to find refuge with some of the Githzerai, but this place is basically full of slaad, gibbering mouthers, and worse.
666th Layer of the Abyss
Okay this one’s a gamble. Nobody actually knows what’s on the very bottom-most layer of the abyss. Some say it’s Morgoth Bauglir Tharizdun, the elder evil deity that is not dead, but rather defeated and imprisoned outside of the world where evil cannot reach. Some say it’s home to the howling madness of a forgotten demon lord. Others say there’s a nice restaurant if you can get a table. Whatever the case, no stories of anyone venturing in or back out have made it to the bardic colleges.
Avernus
At first blush this one seems not so bad. A blasted hellscape full of devils and demons fighting each other, where the very earth erupts with suppurating wounds and hellish scars? Sure it’s not pleasant, but you can deal with it. At least until the hundreds of adventuring parties from Baldur’s Gate begin their descent–then the gentrification begins, and next thing you know, you won’t be able to afford to eat at your favorite restaurant or pay rent, and the area’s unique charm will be washed away in dying middle-class blandness as the original inhabitants are priced out of their homes because now everyone’s working for a startup.
Happy Adventuring!
