Pimpcron: Video Games For Each Faction
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For those of you who don’t know what video games are, they are games in video form. Now that everyone is on the same level of base knowledge, let’s get on with this.
Space Marines
I was about the describe a video game about being a Space Marine where you are nearly a god of war and just mow through the enemy at an alarming rate. You get to use all the different weapons and stuff, and show no mercy. Then I remembered the game called … Space Marine. That is basically what I want out of a Space Marine video game. So I guess we move on.
Orks
This needs to be a massed-assault style game where you play as a Warboss or a Nob who commands the tides of Greenskins into battle. It may seem counter-intuitive to not make this a first person shooter-style game, but being that Orks are so melee oriented, it seems that we already have a template for this type of game. Dynasty Warriors seems like a perfect fit for an ork-centric game where you are wading through the enemy while hundreds of your closest friends (other orks) are murdering stuff around you. This game could be awesome!
Tyranids
Another army that seems to love being hoards, the Tyranids also have a clear-cut game genre to exploit. Tower defense games would fit Tyranids perfectly! But instead of building the towers and trying to defend against enemies, you are the Hive Mind choosing what units to send down which path and in which order. Can you imagine hundreds of guants pouring over the screen, occasionally dotted with giant Tyranid monsters? The strategy behind it would be so fun, and it is a nice twist on a typical game style.
Ordo Assassins
This game just screams a mix of Metal Gear stealth mixed with the parkour of Assassin’s Creed. Take a moment and imagine how cool it would be to be jumping, climbing, and leaping through an Imperial city on your way to your target. The city is lit up, all of the gothic architecture is cast in stark shadows. Finally you find your mark’s balcony where he is having a party. You stop across the road on a roof top and decide how to kill him. Do you slip in and poison him? Snipe him from where you are? Wait for him to enter the balcony after the party and dangle him from the railing? This game could be so much fun.
Daemons
You are a cultist leader of a city, with the ability to feel the sinfulness of others around you. You explore the city, looking for the right person to birth a daemon. Amass your following through clever speech options and wait until the time is right before unleashing the armies of chaos on the world. Then the game slips more into a first person combat game, as you host a daemon inside you and join your ranks as you kill, maim, and defile everything around you. Part political intrigue, part organizational game, and part bloody action game.
Imperial Guard
You play a Medal of Honor or Battlefield style game where you take the role of a humble guardsmen and fight crazy battles. Storm a beach under a hail of dakka. Drop out of a Valkyrie onto enemy positions. Scale the side of a Chaos Titan to plant charges as the massive machine strides through the battlefield. There are a million things you could do with this, and make it as metal as you like. Rise up through the ranks and take more part in planning offensives followed by participating in them. This game would be easy to show many different fronts and alien menaces as well. It would also lend itself to co-op online.
Inquisition
This wouldn’t be so action packed as the others, but could be great fun. Play it online or as a real life party card game. Each player is an Inquisitor who is struggling against the others for power. The game has each player take turns sabotaging the others or planting evidence on them. Alliances must be forged but can be broken any time. This has party game written all over it in the same vein as Werewolf. The emphasis would be on talking your way out of bad situations and screwing other players over.
Okay, what ideas do you have? I’d love to hear them!
Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike C.!
Thanks Michael, smooches!
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