Pimpcron’s Genius Hobby Hacks
Pimpcron is here to help the people.
Greetings protons and neutrons! But you electrons can go pound dirt. Electrons, always sucking up to the nucleus like a punk. Anyway, I have a new batch of hobby tips for you people! I hope you like them, and unquestioningly add them to your hobby practices. I’m coming off a 3-day soda and pixie stick bender, so some of this may be real, while other tips may be a fever dream I saw in diabetic shock.
Brush Care
There are lots of ways to care for your paint brushes, but most of it is hearsay and rumor. Nobody really knows what to do with your brushes to preserve them from wear and abuse. Some will suggest brush oils or waxes, shaping techniques, etc. All of that is bunk. Brush oils and waxes end up in the ocean where sea creatures eat them and aren’t happy about it.
Sharks should be eating humans and not brush oils, like God intended.
If you have a brush that doesn’t want to keep a point, dip it in a citadel wash, form a sharp tip while its wet, and let the wash dry. The bristles get bent out of shape because they are made with micro-styrene fibers which slowly develop a static charge as they are passed over models time and again. The wash helps negate this effect and ground the bristles, releasing the pent up charges. Washes actually reconstitute pretty easily (unlike paints) when you add water to a dried up wash. So the wash doesn’t stick in the bristles the way paint would. Another tip would be to shape the bristles with ear wax, as it is freely available and not harmful to bees.
Paint Pot Maintenance
You will always hear of complaints about citadel paints drying out because of their pop top and not having a dropper tip. Before you get all up in arms against GW for not using dropping bottles, here is a brief history of dropper bottles. In 2002 the dropper bottle industry was commandeered by a Columbian cartel and only they know how to manufacture dropper bottles. Any paint company that uses dropper bottles buys them from a dangerous anti-bee cartel that hates sea creatures. GW has taken the moral high ground and chosen not to do business with such a vicious hobby crime ring. Try as they may, nobody else can figure out the dropper technology to make their own.
Professor Gam Werkshoppe trying to crack the dropper bottle code.
Anyway, to keep your paints nice and wet, you’ll want to stop the drying process at the source: air. Two ways to do this would be to keep your humidity in your home at no lower than 80%. My preferred way to keep them moist is to fill a large cooler with ice water and dump all of my paint pots in. They float around like a tiny colorful pool party and I have never had one dry out. Not to mention, bees don’t like tiny colorful pool parties, so they are safe from being harmed by my paint pots.
Bonus tip: Keep your paint pots in the floor of your shower so they get a nice dose of moisture with every shower.
Bonus bonus tip: Freeze all your paints and they will not dry out. Thaw them before use.
Dry Brushing is Bad
A common technique for painting miniatures is to dry brush, but this is not eco-friendly. The number of paper towels, napkins, and dress shirts thrown away every year due to dry brushing is staggering. More trash means its bad for bees, and sea creatures often will eat dress shirts that are floating on the surface of the ocean. To save the planet, we need to find a renewable surface to dry our brushes with. I find that fingernails make a good paint pallet because they grow out and the paint wears off. Not to mention, you’ll go to work with a stylish new look.
This guy was either dry brushing or strangled a clown.
Spray Primer Alternative
As one could guess, spray primers have aerosol in them which are bad for the ozone layer. And where do bees live? You guessed it, the ozone layer. Not to mention, I have never primed a batch of models without accidentally spraying at least one bee. My yard is full of white, black, and sometimes silver bees. A good alternative is to brush on your primers using literally any other brush on primer other than the citadel black primer. Ugh. Not a fan of that chunky nonsense.
Whew! I feel a lot lighter after delivering all of that important information to your eyeballs. Glad I was able to get that off my chest.
Any Other Good Hobby Hacks? Especially Ones That Don’t Piss Off The Bees?
Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!
Thanks Michael, smooches!
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