Pimpcron: Are You A Fanboy?
Pimpcron is here with another rant. He’s got his ranting hat on.
Well, I’ve been thinking a lot lately. I’ve pondered about pebbles, thought about Thanos, and mulled over mullets. But mostly I’ve thought about fanboys/fangirls.
So it seems that we all have an idea of what a Fanperson is. It probably ranges from slobbering brain-dead apologists all the way to enthusiastic proponents of an intellectual property. I have been called a GW Hater at certain times and a GW Fanboy at others, so it’s hard to tell what I am except a robot sex machine.
The Trouble Is …
What started out as a good-natured self-proclamation has now turned into a slur of sorts. It doesn’t actually matter how much of a fan you are of a property, only two factors determine if you are to be labeled a fanboy or not. The first is, if you take a softer assumption stance on the actions of a company than the person accusing you and the second is how angry the person is at you. You see, your label as a Fanboy/girl really doesn’t have much to do with you at all.
Angry nerd rage online has made being a fan of something a bad thing if it seems you are not sharing your accuser’s critical opinion of said property.
So If That’s The Definition Now …
Since this now seems to be the general definition of the word, let’s see what category you fall into. I can say that I am somewhere between a Loyal and an Average I think.
Uber Fanboy
Not many people fall into this category, this is the type of person that loves GW so much that they get very excited about ALL new products that come out. They will automatically defend the company’s actions and will always assume the best of intentions. They will never say they don’t like a new model, and do everything they can to financially support the company.
Loyal Fanboy
Many more people fall into this group. This person loves GW and gets excited about most of their new releases. They generally have a positive view of the company and assume that whatever the company does is probably for the better. These people like most new models that come out, and passively say they don’t like a new model if it doesn’t strike their fancy. They do not go on negative rants about GW.
Average Fanboy
Most people fall into this one. This person really likes GW and is excited about releases for the armies they play. They don’t pass judgment either way about company actions (read: doesn’t care), and are honest about their opinion of new model releases. You’ll get occasional griping from this group but nothing serious.
Passive Fanboy
This group is the full of people who don’t follow new releases, don’t keep track of new models, and generally “nothing” GW. They like the game, and casually play the game and that’s where their involvement ends.
Ex-Fanboy
This is the underground. The Morlocks. The Troglodytes. This person hates GW, believes they are evil and soulless. They are quick to criticize all GW releases and there is no making this person happy. Rants? Yes, many. These people have let themselves get so attached to the game in the past that at some point a change that was made has made this person feel personally attacked. They conduct themselves with all the venom and irrational anger of an ex-lover.
Big Adult Baby Fanboy
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! They smell of urine.
Undead Fanboy
This one just wants brains. Would probably like to see new zombie models from GW because the current ones are 20 years old and dumb looking.
Manga Fanboy
They will like and support anything that is in a improbable mechanized suit and is covered in a cloud of drones.
Fan Fanboy
This customer is angry that most aircraft in Warhammer would not generate lift by design.
GW Farmboy
This community generally likes anything that looks like a combine or a farm animal. That Slaanesh vehicle, the grinder things on a Battle Wagon, Beasts of Chaos, etc.
Boy Fanboy
A child who likes GW and Warhammer.
Boy Fan Fanboy
A Warhammer player who believes they should release an all-child army and that their jump troops should have little propellers on their hats.
Mi Fan Fanboy
A person who loves cooked rice at Asian restaurants.
I’m done. I actually think that I probably fall into the Mi Fan Fanboy category come to think of it. But propeller jump troop children would be neat too.
So after seeing the different classes of Fanboy, which one are you?
Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!
Thanks Michael, smooches!
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