Pimpcron: Hobby Station Essentials

5 Minute Read

Jul 18 2020

Pimpcron has your guide to creating the perfect hobby station.

Hey! This is an article, your eyes are the puppets, the strings are my words. I can make you think anything I write. Trash Can Lip Gloss. Elderly Hamster Gloves. Fresh-Squeezed Scalp Milk. I relish this power, it’s gone to my head.

So enough of that, here are the most important things you need to make sure you are hobbying to your fullest.

Location

This is highly important. I’m not gonna lie, some places will just don’t work for a hobby station. You want somewhere that is secluded, well-lit, and has enough space for all your paints, brushes, and chair. One ideal place that fits all of these criteria is a public bathroom. Sit backwards on the toilet and BOOM, you have a chair and desk in one. Use suction cups to hang a shelf or two on the stall wall and you are in business. As an added bonus, if you paint without pants, you don’t even have to get up for bathroom breaks! Unfortunately, this has down sides like odor, intrusions, and drug addicts hanging about.

Here’s another idea (and this just occurred to me), you could find a small spot in your home where you could use some sort of flat surface as a table and pull a chair up to it. Plug in a desk lamp and you’ve got a nice little hobby station. But it just seems kind of … boring compared to periodically handing a roll of toilet paper under the stall wall. Follow your gut when finding a nice hobby spot.

Lighting

This is another crucial element. If the light is too low, then you won’t be able to see anything. If the light is too bright, you won’t be able to see anything. I suggest a degree of light in your hobby area that is somewhere in between blinded by darkness and blinded by light. Find some sort of happy medium by experimenting.

Storage

Now, I know what you’re going to say. “Pimpcron, everyone just keeps their paints in their pockets, why do I need a shelf?” While the traditional place to store your paint pots is in your trousers, I have found an arguably better solution. Find a drawer or shelf that is has enough surface area to set all of your paints on it. You will be able to see and select the paint you want in minutes instead of rummaging through your clothes. Since your pants will be out-moded now, there’s truly no reason to paint with pants on! Talk about comfort! [flush]

They float if they fall in the toilet, so you’re safe.

Foot Bath

No hobby station is complete without a portable foot bath. Throw in some water, some bath salts, and let your feet soak while you paint. If you’re painting models and your feet aren’t submerged in a hot tub of water, are you really painting at all? The only drawback is that most of these require an outlet for power, which some public bathrooms are short on. Be sure to check your local public bathroom out first before making any purchases, nobody will allow you to return a used foot bath.

Wall Space For Swords

Nothing says “this is a sexually potent specimen” like a wall full of swords and other cutlery on plaques. Trust me, I’m not hating on this at all, I too have a the obligatory wall of plaqued weaponry in my bathroom. I find that gazing on these weapons of war (of which I have no idea how to capably wield) inspires me to paint my little figures. It gives a dangerous edge to any workspace, and shows any intruders that you mean business. They will easily hang on the stall wall with suction cups. But a word to the wise, be sure they are secure. When one of these bad boys comes loose from the wall, you’ll likely have no clothes on your legs to stop it from putting your giblets on the pain train.

These get nudged and they’re like giblet-seeking missiles.

Hot Plate

This probably goes without saying, but nobody likes when our macaroni gets cold. So instead of wasting time reheating your bowl of hobbyroni, keep your bowl on the hot plate. Then every bite is efficient and nutritious (?). I’ve never heard anybody that doesn’t gorge on macaroni during the hobby fever, but I guess it would work with soup too. Haven’t tried it. Anyway, make sure the extension cord you get for your stall has two or three ports at the end to plug into.