Pimpcron: Be a Pro Painter in 3 Easy Steps
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Hey everybody! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! And for those of you who don’t have that, it’s a holiday where Americans make way too much food, are forced to spend time with relatives, and eat too much food. It’s a real nightmare. Anyway, I’ll be honest, I get people approaching me all the time asking how I became a pro painter. I figure now would be a great time to finally reveal my secrets.
The Gear
I personally learned how to be a pro painter by watching other people online. There are a million different tutorial videos on the internet that show you how to be just like the professionals. Many n00bs go straight for things like skill or technique when they are trying to learn how to paint. But honestly it doesn’t matter how great you are at painting if you are using crappy material. First off, you’re gonna need one or three of those fancy Citadel Model Holders. I’ve seen some idiots just holding the model by the base and that just looks stupid. If you are serious about painting, your hand will be a flurry of motion all around your model like Edward Scissor Hands trimming a bush. You don’t want one of your swipes to send your model flying across the room.
Why is there an unprimed model on there? They use brush on primer like an idiot?
Another thing, if you paint without using latex gloves, are you even layering bro? I mean, for serious, most artists wear latex gloves, and if nothing else I feel like it makes their work look better. When people see your finished models, they’d be able to tell that you didn’t touch it with your meaty digits. Your models are pristine, virgin, and unsullied by your hand sausages.
Lastly, you gotta get a one-lens headset with the magnifying glass. Let’s face it, painting is painting, but looking like a wicked 1980’s cyborg while doing it is rad. Even if you aren’t skilled enough to do the real fine detail, anyone who walks in the room while you wear this will be like, “Wow, a headset. I just walked into the lair of a mad scientist, he must be really skilled, like a starving artist of something. No regular person could just buy a headset like that. I bet they only sell those to people who have proved that they are master painters.”
The Brushes
Next up, you need some high quality brushes. All the pros I watch use really expensive brushes and that makes their skill really shine. I’ve been asked time and time again what is the difference between cheap brushes and expensive brushes. Cheap brushes often use horsehair for their tips, while expensive brushes also use horsehair, but I assume its like responsibly sourced or something. Like the horses were really happy, maybe had like a big field to run in with lots of friends. It’s important to me and I think it really shows in my work when the horsehair I use comes from a happy horse. Before they slaughtered it to harvest the hair. I mean, the slaughter part probably wasn’t, like, super happy but I feel like if the horse’s life was rich with friends and laughter, it kind of outweighs the horrible demise.
You will also want to buy the entire range of brushes, from superchonk, down to the single-hair brushes for pupils and stuff. The novice might say that you could probably just paint using 1 to 3 different types of brushes. But the expert knows it takes the whole range. Just like the wild range of emotions you get while expressing yourself on your tiny canvas.
The Look
Okay, let’s get real here. Being a pro painter is so much more than learning to paint. The outsider looks at us super photogenic pro painters and thinks its all about skill. But do you know what they also see? My ripped, acid washed skinny jeans? My trendy plaid Sketchers? My little wool knit cap almost covering my Batman gauges? My horn rimmed glasses? You see, the artist is just as much a canvas as the models. You don’t just look at my miniatures, you get me as an artist as a package deal. Art is all about expression and your artist look is probably even more important than the quality of your paint jobs.
Chao
Now, for the last part, you have to learn the act. The act of being an artist around people. Firstly, never let people know you are paying attention to them when they are talking. Being a pro painter is about worth. You have to demand your value from everyone else around you at all times. Make them WORK for your time, EARN your attention. As a prop painter, you must portray an air of being deeper, somehow more complex than others. Like there’s always a different angle that you’re looking at. Mystery is your real canvas, miniatures are just a Segway into a community that will allow you a platform to be mysterious.
Sorry, I didn’t Even Have Time For Hairstyles. How Do You Express being a Pro Painter?
Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!
Thanks Michael, smooches!
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