Pimpcron: Chaos Is The Best Army To Collect
Pimpcron’s throwing shade, come watch!
Greetings. I have chosen to sully myself by coming down from my lofty throne of perfection and dump some of my stray thoughts on you. These are the kind of shower thoughts that aren’t quite good enough to make it into my new religion I’m creating.
You probably know this already, but I play a bunch of different armies. Basically everything except Knights, Eldar and Tau; cuz screw those guys. In my travels across the tabletop, I’ve found that the different armies have different differentiations that differ from each other differently. Oh, sorry. I forgot to say that today’s article is sponsored by the word family “different”. Each time I say “different” or its subsidiaries I get money from Big Alphabet.
Anyway, Chaos is Best
We’re talking about one of those desert-island sort of situations where you only had one army you could choose to play forever. The assumption is that you could buy any of the models in that codex, you aren’t limited to what you own. My Necrons have some cool new hotness, and Marines have the LARGEST model selection by far. My Orks give me all sorts of customization opportunities that can provide years of kitbashing. I always have a soft spot for my Imperial Guard and battles always feel uphill, which is fun. The same thing applies to my Genestealer Cult bois. I love all my armies are special to me in different ways, but different (that was kind of forced, I hope they still pay me for that one).
Compared to all the other armies, Chaos Space Marines has the *best* diversity of units and different options that you could ask for. How do I love thee? Oh, let me count the ways.
Don’t ask me. It seemed to fit.
Chaos is … Chaotic
Regular Imperial Space Marines have lots of units, but they are all pretty samey. We’ve got Marines on foot, Marines on bikes, Marines in baby-carriers, and Marines who fly. We’ve got Marines riding big doggos, Marines in a goth phase, and Marines riding go karts. Are you seeing a trend now? Me too, I forgot to say “different”. I’m not sure that referring to the word counts as a mention.
Anyway, you have your common Marine fair in Chaos Space Marines, OBVIOUSLY. But even with your normal Marines like Tactical, Bikers, or Raptors, you get to customize them with Chaos marks. Now, of course they don’t do as much as they used to, but it is still a level of different-ness. Then you’ve got variations to Marines in the way of Daemon possession. Warp Talons, Possessed, and Greater Possessed all give a unique flair to the Marine formula, something that regular Marines don’t get. Then you get into the more severe deviations.
Plus, a lot of them go shirtless. I prefer this over the giant horn nipples, tbh.
Obliterators, Mutilators, and Havocs get a bunch of neat buffs that make them way more interesting than their Imperial counterparts. Plus you get different Chaos marks for them too!
More Versatile (Chaotic) Stratagems
Once again, I implore you to take a look at how the Chaos mark system even enhances the different Stratagems. Of course every codex has some generic Stratagems that affect certain types of units generically, like “Space Marine Infantry” or whatever. But Chaos takes it one step further and allows an additional layer of usefulness in the game. You could use a generic Stratagem on one infantry unit, then a Chaos-specific one on another, and a different Chaos-specific one on another. That is something you simply can’t do in the Imperial book. This is just another reason why the Chaos Marines book is my “desert island” choice. We haven’t began to discuss the super awesome other unit choices that Marines have nothing like.
All The Beasties
Not only do you get access to some daemons, but all those daemon engines are totally my jam. While they may seem a bit under powered, they have a host of abilities that “the Regs” can’t even touch. And what about the Heldrake?! It’s a Flyer, it’s a mobile Flamer platform, and it’s not too shabby in close combat! First turn charges are always an option with a Heldrake! Then you’ve got awesome mechanical spiders in the Lord Discordant and Venomcrawlers. I know that not all these models are the top competitive choices, but if you’re talking versatility and replayability, look no further! And while I do get a little frustrated trying to paint all the trim on Chaos armor, but all in all, I feel that their models have a great look.
Nobody can tell me this doesn’t look cool. I will block you.
Their monsters, their daemons, their mutations, YES PLEASE! I feel like the Imperial Marines have a sterile and clean look to them, which is fine. But Chaos is so much more interesting to model, kitbash, and paint. They have most of the options of their Imperial counterparts, but their different.
Whew! It’s easy to shove that many differences in one article, but this a different kind of article. Go support your local Chaos God and you won’t regret it.
What Else Do You Love About Chaos?
Hey! This article is brought to you by my top-tier Patreon supporter Mike Cowley!
Thanks Michael, smooches!
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