Warhammer 40K: Fimor Dour – The Ultra-Accountant Of The Ultramarines
In 1988, and the most badass Ultramarine was all about cutting deals, maximizing profit margins, and hoarding the Jokaero goodies.
In the beginning, Warhammer 40,000 was a wild frontier. Before the canon, before the Crusades and the decades of lore helped establish a tone that we’d come to call “The Grimdark” the nascent story of 40K forged out into all directions, drawing inspiration from everywhere – both sci-fi classics and dreck alike.
Luckily I have a very old collection…. including White Dwarf 97 from January 1988
Enter the ORIGINAL Ultramarines Master of the Household
Let’s walk down memory lane my friends and look at some of the top ranking officers of that holiest of holies, the goody-two-shoes Ultramarines. Read on my friends of their Master of the Household, who kept the Ultramarines in the black, made sure the toilets were clean and kept the slaves in check(!) before a giant Inquisitorial ret-con hook whisked him off the 40k stage.
OK, sit down and grab a beer because we have a LOT to unpack here. Brother Dour is an ample cornucopia of over the top crazy that has been brushed under the carpet of modern 40K.
- “most highly regarded of all the Masterships” Forget all that battlefield glory, the Ultramarines are all about making sure the trains run on time, and profitably!
- He administers food, hygiene & repairs. This is not a man to be trifled with. It would be unfortunate if your busted bolter just kept falling to the bottom of the Techmarine’s repair queue.
- “Slave relations”!? Exactly what kind of “relations” does this entail? They’re slaves – do they have an official representative at Ultramarine functions?
- It’s a tough, boring job, but logistics is needed to properly train chapter Commanders. I wonder where Primaris Marneus is hiding this guy? Heck, maybe Dour ran a rebranding marketing campaign and IS Marneus Calgar! It could happen…
- “Already 45 years old” Back in the 80s, Marines were real go-getters, career-wise. None of this 200-year-old nonsense.
- The youngsters respect Dour’s business acumen, but forget he’s still good in a fight.
- Speaking of which – A power glove (fist), and FOUR Jokaero digital lasers – plus a knife. They always forget the knife…
- 233 and a HALF points?!
- He does rock the mohawk, mustache and prominent financial ledger. (I really, really hope it’s a Power Ledger – WHACK)
~ I challenge you to make up the best Fimor Dour Strategem to reflect his AWESOME business skills – GO!
