D&D: Five Ways To Do Crimes Without Upsetting the Party
With heists on the horizon, crime is in the air. But how can you do a crime without upsetting the party? Maybe one of these will help.
Crime is great. Can we just take a moment to acknowledge how cool it is to break the law? Crime not only pays, but it’s one of the few ways you can actually get ahead in the world without having to be born with parents whose names are blue on Wikipedia. And if you’re already rich and/or powerful? The only way you got there is because someone, somewhere along the way did a crime.
Probably more than one if you have a lot of money.
One of the biggest power fantasies of D&D is that you don’t have to be a smooth criminal to get ahead in the world. But… that doesn’t mean you won’t want to anyway. Which is why we’re here to help. Here’s how you can get them on your side.
Get Them To Do a Crime Against Someone You’re Already Going To Kill
This one’s the easiest. You’ve already snuck into the dungeon and you’re about to kill those guards. That’s basically one step away from murder, which is one of the worst crimes. What if you convinced your party members to rob them first? It’s usually best if you are dealing with a small number of opponents – say you know the next room has two goblins in it or whatever. Get your party to agree to rob them. You know, hold ’em up for their swords.
A good old-fashioned mugging, as it were. And as a bonus, it leaves people to spread word of your heroic deeds and/or crimes.
Get Them To Do a Crime Against Someone They Don’t Like
Is there a stuck-up noble or other NPC that your party doesn’t like? You guessed it, that’s the perfect time to suggest that, even if the DM would never let you get away with killing them, you could always do a crime. Maybe you invite them for a fancy tea party and you pick their pockets, maybe you get the cleric to lure them out of their estate so you can break in and take their most prized possession, whatever the case if the party already has it out for that NPC, you have it made in the shade.
Get Them To Do a Crime For a Good Cause
This one might take a little more finagling, because you’ll have to find a good cause – fortunately, most D&D campaigns take place in a world that’s a pseudo-medieval pastiche, which means there are lords and serfs and plenty of sad stories to pluck at the heartstrings of even the most stonehearted murderhobo. All you have to do is find a starving family and say “hey let’s steal some food for them,” because what adventurer is going to give up their own money to feed the poor? Not even the Paladin, and she’s lawful good.
Get Them To Do One of Those Cool Crimes That Only Rich People Can Do
Anyone can steal. But typically it’s only kings and tyrants who get to do things like “violate treaties” or “insider trading” – not you though. You’re adventurers. So if you convince the party that they can “impersonate the Lords of Waterdeep” with the right application of spells, then you can get them to solve a problem. You need to pitch big solutions for big problems. The more over-the-top, the more likely the rest of the players are to be on board.
Get Them To Want Something Real Expensive
So you’ve got all the methods – now what you need is motive. Figure out what things the rest of your party wants: new armor, new weapons, a cool fort—whatever it is, you’re going to sell them on the idea that all they need is some quick cash and it can be theirs. Then, crime – and how much it pays – should be the obvious solution.
Best of luck, criminal adventurers!
