D&D: 3rd Edition Monsters Sure Were Weird, Huh?
D&D might seem fantastical now. But in the past? It was weird. And not even that far back…just look at how weird 3rd Edition monsters got.
Third Edition D&D was for many the high point of their gaming careers. You can tell who they are because they play Pathfinder. It marked the end of an era, as TSR closed its doors. And it was the beginning of a new era, with Wizards of the Coast taking the reins. From open gaming licenses to the 3rd party publisher boom, 3E D&D has had a long reach. But with a long reach comes monsters that, like this metaphor, are a bit of a stretch. That’s why, in later days, you’d see some weird monsters in 3rd Edition.
Ironmaw
There is no way this evil treant isn’t plotting against you. Like actively. Right now.
An Ironmaw is a massive extraplanar plant. Unlike most, it’s sapient. And devious. That’s what makes it weird, even for a 3rd Edition monster. An Ironmaw stakes out territory and hides out as a regular normal tree that seems maybe a little menacing. Then it awakens and attacks you.
But you’ll never see them coming. As long as its eyes are closed you can’t tell it’s an evil tree that is definitely plotting to overthrow the king. But when it awakens, watch out. Not only does it attack, but it also deals Constitution damage, and grapples you, and pulls you into its iron maw. I’m honestly surprised this 3rd edition monster, though weird, hasn’t seen a 5th Edition update yet. WotC looooves evil trees.
Keeper
Keepers are perhaps one of the weirdest monsters in 3rd Edition. They appeared in one of the earlier books. But proved just how far 3rd Edition could go.
They can bend their joints in any direction, for one. And they have a limited hive mind. And they all dress the same, wearing dark leather coats and black goggles to disguise the fact that the creatures have no eyes. At this point, I threw the book away from me and moved houses just in case they were lurking in the book.
But I can tell you that their main goal is to roam the planes trying to learn secrets from things. Once they learn everything there is to know? Well, you know the old saying: three can keep a secret if two are dead. And they try to make sure their secrets are kept.
Also, they can swap bodies with any other living keeper within 500 feet, and are immune to pretty much everything because they’re part construct, part outsider. Whatever they’re not immune to, they likely have resistance to.
Octopus Tree
Further proof that WotC loves to make an evil tree. Octopus trees are so named because they root near shores and float like giant rubbery trees on the surface of the ocean. They spread out their roots like a mat of seaweed, which of course allows them to move around in currents. By now it should go without saying that they can unfurl their roots like tentacles and they’re concealing a massive hidden maw.
Because they are. But they are also incredibly powerful spellcasters. They can warp the wood of ships, call lightning, turn wood (look all of 3rd edition was weird, not just monsters), and do other things to sink ships so they can devour sailors. All while being plants.
Nerra
Nerra are kind of cool mirror people. As long as you don’t read into them. Because in 3rd Edition D&D nothing is what it seems. Even mirrors.
‘When you look into a mirror you’re not actually looking at reflected light, but really all mirrors are portals that allow you to gaze into the Plane of Mirrors, which is an alternate reality that exists alongside ours. And it’s called the Plane of Mirrors because everything has a smooth mirrorlike surface.’
Also when they talk it sounds like rock scratching across glass. They have a ton of mirror-related powers and can be anywhere at any time. Even right behind you.
Steel Predator
Okay look I don’t know if it’s genius or trolling that they basically made the xenomorph and called it a predator.
Either way, 3rd Edition was wild times.
Happy Adventuring!
