D&D: The Most Pitiful Creatures (Your Party Will Want to Adopt)
From groveling kobolds to grime-covered goblins, these are some of D&D’s most pitiful monsters your party will want to keep.
When a party of well-meaning adventurers comes across a weird, gross, pitiful monster there’s only one outcome: they become the new party mascot. This happens in the most serious of games. It happens in the most comical games.
People love pets. There’s a whole industry dedicated to serving up pictures of dogs doing weird, gremlin-y things. It’s just human nature. So when your party sees some of these pitiful monsters, they’ll feel those parental instincts kick in. Even if they don’t know why.
Kobolds
These are the classic example of pathetic little wretches whom the party can’t help but ally with. It’s been the case since WotC took over D&D if not before. As early as The Sunless Citadel, one of D&D 3rd Edition’s seminal adventures, the designers knew kobolds would tug at the heartstrings of even the most hardened adventurers.
Meepo, a kobold caught between two squabbling tribes, could help the players make some headway in the adventure. Naturally, most parties adopted Meepo as a sort of good luck charm. And kobolds ever since have found a welcome home in the hands of adventurers.
It’s not hard to see why. They’re small. They believe themselves to be related to dragons, so they’ve got delusions of grandeur. And you just can’t help but feel for ’em, whatever situation they’re in.
Goblins
Goblins are the other iconic adoption monster candidate. But don’t look at the official art. Because most goblins differ from their official D&D appearance. Instead, you’ll find most parties picturing cute little weirdos like this:
And who wouldn’t want to befriend someone like that? Sorry DMs, there’s absolutely nothing you can do to prevent this. That’s just how things are.
Xvarts
Speaking of little weirdos though, nobody gets quite as weird as Xvarts. Their whole existence is because a renegade demigod was trying to escape the consequences of his own actions. This demigod, Raxivort, spawned the creatures known as Xvart.
With blue skin, orange eyes, and receding hairlines mirroring their creator’s appearance, the Xvart are three-foot-tall distractions wrapped up in a cowardly, greedy package.
Each one of these little blue monsters will absolutely sell your soul for a corn chip. This is why they’ll soon be gnawing on the plate-armored pauldron of your Paladin as you decide to take one home and give it a nice bed.
Abyssal Chicken
Abyssal chickens are foul-tempered, carnivorous demon birds. They can’t fly. They’re bottom feeders. And every last one of them tastes like fatty chicken.
Of course your party is going to want to adopt one. It’s even easier with them because a character who can cast Find Familiar can potentially choose an abyssal chicken instead of a raven.
Gremishka
Perhaps the ultimate feral creature that will be unwisely taken in by a party of adventurers is the Gremishka. These are magically unstable cats with a taste for spells and spellbooks. The first Gremishkas were created by mistakes made by novice spellcasters seeking to create life.
Now there’s a literal population explosion of them throughout Ravenloft and parts beyond. Literal population explosion, because all Gremishkas are allergic to magic, and when a creature casts a spell within 30 feet, it might explode into a swarm of Gremishkas that then spreads even further.
Happy adventuring, and make sure to bring extra food for your new weird pet
