Star Wars: The Galaxy’s Worst & Wildest Merch
From nightmare candy packaging to toys that nobody asked for, there’s been a lot of questionable Star Wars merch.
We’ve all seen a few toys and tie-ins out in the world that made us collectively ask, “Why?” Things that make no sense or nobody wants, or things that just look wrong. In its long history, Star Wars has had quite a few merchandising mishaps and these are some of our least favorites.
Rebels Ukulele
Brought to us by Peavey, the Star Wars Rebels ukulele isn’t egregious or offensive so much as “….why?” Who is this for? It doesn’t include the entire Rebels cast, it is not a well-laid-out design, and if I were to guess, I’d say that it’s probably a mediocre-sounding uke. Is it meant to get your kids into playing? Because there are mediocre twenty-dollar plastic ukuleles for that. That said, if the price tag was less than fifty bucks, it had a better design, or it wasn’t somehow completely out of stock, I might have been tempted.
Lucas Family Action Figures
Have you ever thought, “I’d love to own action figures of George Lucas and his family’s Revenge of the Sith cameo appearance characters!”? Has anybody? This honestly feels like a toy just for the Lucases. And I get it, people spend good money to get custom figures of their own OCs all of the time. But do they need to try and sell those OCs to the rest of us? Probably not.
Roger Roger Drinks
I have a love-hate relationship with this. Throwing a B1 Battle droid on a soda is hilarious, and not any worse than the Thermal Detonator sodas at Galaxy’s Edge. But the Multi-Troop transport Ship soda holder? It’s big, it’s unnecessary, and it’s the icing on this delightful cake. It all reminds me of the days when we thought the prequel movies would be good. Before we unironically all came back around on them years later.
Yoda Magic 8 Ball
On the surface, I can completely understand the marketing spin behind a Yoda magic 8 ball. He’s the wise old master who gives advice in riddles. But the execution here leaves something to be desired. This probably could have been designed literally any other way. But it wasn’t, so look up Yoda’s robes for the wisdom you seek, kids!
Jar Jar Nightmare Candy
It’s been 23 blessed years since I had to remember that this monstrosity was made. I had forgotten! But if I had to be reminded, so do you! This one, I can’t even begin to understand. Somebody, no, many somebodies sat around and agreed not only that Jar Jar Binks- who I assume they all thought would be the new mascot-slash-favorite character of Star Wars fans everywhere- needed his own candy, but that the candy part HAD to be his tongue. Who’s responsible for this? I just wanna talk.
Do you have a favorite terrible piece of Star Wars marketing or merchandise? What was the worst galactic tie-in you’ve ever seen? Would you eat the Jar Jar candy? Let us know in the comments!
May The Force Be With You, Adventurers!
