D&D: Five Spells for Faking Your Own Death and Moving Away
So you just said “you too” when a server told you to enjoy your meal and now you have to fake your death and move away. Here’s five spells to help.
Look we’ve all been there. Someone told you to have a nice day and you said “not if I see you first” or someone you met once for five minutes three years ago remembers not only your name but details about your life and you have no idea who they are or anything about them other than they “wear shoes pretty good.”
Maybe you told someone “thanks” when they asked how you were doing, or you accidentally said “I love you too” when they wanted to know if you could move your leg. Whatever the minor faux pas, your life is shattered, and now the only thing you can do is fake your own death and move away. And yes, D&D is a power fantasy and that means that this should never happen, what if your fantasy is moving away and assuming a new identity? Here’s how to do just that.
Feign Death
Let’s start with the most obvious ingredient. This spell, as far as D&D spells go, is one of those flavorful ones that seems meant more for the DM than for players. But then later on it ends up being the turning point of a whole campaign because of some unforeseen niche it fills. In a nutshell, the spell lets you put a willing target (including yourself) into a cataleptic state indistinguishable from death for an hour.
So not only do you get peace and quiet for an hour, everyone will assume you’re dead. Which is a great start but now you have to worry about complications.
Dimension Door
Are you worried you might be buried alive? You shouldn’t. Feign Death only lasts an hour and if you end up entombed in that little time, you have other problems. But if you’re worried about getting inverse Cask of Admontillado’d, Dimension Door is your friend. Even if you get buried six feet under–say you have a grave ready to go because you were planning to fake your own death but they accidentally forgot and left your body in the coffin–Dimension Door will get you out of whatever fine kettle of fish you’ve gotten yourself into this time.
It lets you teleport up to 500 feet in any direction and you don’t have to see where you’re going.
Simulacrum
This spell creates an illusory double of you formed out of ice and snow and gives a semblance of your life. Your simulacrum acts the way you dictate and is a creature, making it a viable target for most spells—including Feign Death. So you can spend 1,500 GP on a magical double who “dies” while you dip out.
Clone
Sometimes called the “backup plan” this spell is primarily used to get out of death because you have it stashed away in a secret hideout just waiting to come to life when your original body dies. Your soul is preserved and immediately goes there, leaving your body an inert corpse. Sure it costs 3,000 gp and you have to “die” but as far as faking your own death goes, this is a pretty convincing way to do it.
Alter/Disguise Self
Okay so you’ve faked your death and moved away, now you need to assume a new identity. The classic Alter or Disguise Self spells are exactly what you need. You don’t have to look like yourself–you can live a lie somewhere else until the next minor faux pas forces you away.
Happy adventuring!
