Ant-Man Merch You Need – Does Not Include America’s Ass, Sorry

Astonishing Ant-Man 3.75″ Fig

This retro action figure comes in retro packaging featuring the original Ant-Man, Hank Pym, in his 1960s-era suit. The fig has multiple points of articulation and a decent amount of detail for its size. Add him to your collection for $12.

X-CON Security T-Shirt

“So anyway, this guy gets out of jail and starts working for Hank. And that’s when he met Hope. And Hope’s all like, ‘I want nothing to do with you. Look at my hairdo. I’m all business.’ And then Scotty’s like, ‘You know what, girl? My heart’s all broken, and I’ll probably never find love again. But damn, if I want to kiss you!’ But then you fast-forward and they’re all like into each other, right? And then Scotty’s like, ‘You know what, I can’t tell you this, but I’m gonna go trashing the airport with Captain America!’ Then she said, ‘I can’t believe you split like that! Smell you later, dummy!’ So Scotty goes on house arrest, and he won’t admit it, but his heart’s all like, ‘Damn! I thought Hope could’ve been my new true partner. But I blew it!’ But fate brought them back together, and then Hope’s heart is all, ‘I’m worried that I can’t trust him. And he’s gonna screw up again and ruin everything.’ And in my heart, it’s all like, ‘That fancy raspberry filling represents the company’s rent. And we’re days away from going out of business! Oooh!'”

Luis Approved (maybe), $23, and available in multiple colors up to a size 3x.

Ant-Man: World Hive

Scott Lang is out of a job (being a hero doesn’t pay everyone’s rent) and finds himself living down and out in an ant hill. In order to get back in his daughter’s good graces, he takes a job from a local beekeeper and ends up discovering a global conspiracy. This TPB collects the entire five-issue story by Zeb Wells for $16.

Paul Rudd Devotional Candle

I’m sad to say that this devotional candle does not smell like Paul Rudd, but it will keep your space lit with the warm glow of his face for around 80 hours. Snag it for $22.

Pym Particle Pins

The most revolutionary science ever developed will look great on your backpack, army bag, purse, bum bag, etc. It uses a strong magnet so you can even put it on a fridge, filing cabinet, or any metal surface you deem fit. Make old Hank annoyed and do something dumb with this $30 set.

A Sandwich

Have you been stuck in the Quantum Realm for five years? Are you starving? Do you want the ultimate peanut butter sandwich? I’m sorry it won’t be made by Black Widow, but here you go…