D&D: Five Ways to Pick the Right Little Weirdo To Follow You Around
The secret to D&D or any RPG is finding a weird little guy to follow you around. But how do you know which little weirdo to pick?
Dungeons & Dragons is, at its heart, all about finding a weird little guy who joins your party and makes your adventures a little bit livelier. Sure there’s some adventure and treasure along the way. But the phrase “friendship was the real treasure all along” is as cliche as it is for a reason. And that reason is because it’s true.
A big part of this is because as much as we’re wired for story, we’re moreso wired for characters. If you read about someone who isn’t real going through a tough experience, it triggers parts of your brain that will make you feel as though someone real (you) had experienced what they did. It’s a powerful tool.
So now that you know why D&D is all about finding a weird little guy, here’s how to pick the right one.
Are They Sneaky?
First things first, does the little weirdo you’re considering making an unofficial mascot of your party skulk around like a little shadow? If so, that’s a huge plus. Because while some little weirdos might be surprisingly strong, as a rule, every little weirdo has to be able to show up, seemingly out of nowhere.
So if they are sneaky enough that you could picture them standing quietly behind you, waiting for you to turn around and see them, that’s stellar little weirdo qualities. Stealth is the number one thing to look for, both to make sure that they can stay alive when the fighting starts (because the DM might be mean) but also to let them bravely sneak into enemy territory to report back what they’ve observed. Instant value.
How Do They Fit With Your Group?
Ideally, you want to find a weird little guy who the party has a strong reaction to. Most of them should be positive, but the occasional grumpy/antagonistic relationship makes for fun stuff. If the Fighter turns up their nose at the goblin who consistently just bites their shin, you’ve got the makings of a Bioware-style NPC sidequest about to happen when you investigate the little goblin’s past.
You want to find someone that feels like they fit into your group, not necessarily seamlessly at every turn, a little friction can be good. But someone who seems like a part of the group, even unofficially, is golden.
How Likely Are You to Rush Off if Something Bad Happens to Them?
If anything happened to the weird little guy you’re thinking of adding to your party, how many kingdoms would you put to the sword and flame to get them back? What level of devastation would you unleash? Descending into the demon pits to conquer that fell kingdom? If you’re thinking “yeah, sounds reasonable” you’ve got a good NPC sidekick on your hands.
Because the best NPCs are the ones the party cares about. Even a little.
Can They Steal a Scene?
When they’re present in your campaign, can they derail whatever is happening? The best weird little guys can interrupt the ranting and raving of the deicidal maniac whom you’ve been pursuing before they get three words into their soliloquy.
What Percentage of Their Time is Spent Going Goblin-Mode?
Finally, how likely does it seem that these little weirdos you’re looking at will be ready to go full-on goblin mode at the drop of a hat? Because we didn’t fight hard for goblin mode to be Word of the Year in 2022 to not go Untitled Goose Game on those hapless NPCs.
What do you look for in a weird little guy for your adventuring party?
