Disney Doesn’t Want Star Wars Fans to Enjoy Jizz Anymore
Disney can pry the Jizz from this Star Wars fan’s, cold, dead hands.
Disney has been remaking Star Wars in its image for over a decade now. A large part of this was getting rid of the old Expanded Universe canon and replacing it with their own. They’ve also slowly been changing the existing cannon to better fit their needs and wants.
A year and a half ago a large “controversy” arose over them kind of maybe getting rid of the name Slave I for Boba Fett’s ship. This attempt at retconning has mostly faded into the past. Now however Disney is once more on the march, and they are coming for something much nearer and dearer to use than a mere ship name: Jizz.
Umm… Jizz? What’s… What That?
Despite what you might be thinking, Jizz is simply a type of music in the Star Wars universe. It’s most famous from the Cantina scene in A New Hope. In it, the Bith band Figrin D’an and the Model Nodes play some classic Jizz songs that have gone on to be very popular. Their Jizz songs have gotten stuck in many an ear. However, Jizz is all over Star Wars. Max Rebo, the Elephant man from Jabba’s palace is a famous Jizz-wailer Jizz has been an official part of Star Wars canon for decades.
So Disney is Cleaning Out the Jizz?
The most recent controversy arises from what many are seeing as Disney’s attempt to remove Jizz from Star Wars. Because we can’t have fun. This all comes from a recently released book, Star Wars: From A Certain Point of View: Return of the Jedi.
This book is a collection of short stories and one of them deals with, or rather doesn’t deal with, Jizz. One of the short stories, by Phil Szostak, deals with Max Rebo. Rather than refer to Max’s music as Jizz, it’s called Jatz. The story does mention that Jatz has several other less palatable names.
Now this isn’t wholly out of left field. Jatz is also a long-established type of music in Star Wars. So it’s not something wholly made up. Still, it seems like Jatz could, maybe, be replacing Jizz, but in a quiet way. A way that won’t annoy fans. Disney wants to have their Jizz and eat it too, it seems.
The Fate of the Music
So, is the big bad Disney hosing us all down to get rid of all the Jizz in Star Wars? Well, maybe, and maybe not. Just because Jatz was used instead of Jizz in one single short story that very few people will read, does not mean it has replaced Jizz.
For all we know Max Rebo plays both Jizz and Jatz. He swings both ways. This could also just be one author using a different word. Overall if Disney does want to get rid of Jizz, I think we likely do just have something similar to the Slave I situation here.
Moving forward they may not use the term Jizz anymore, because yes they hate fun. However, they won’t go back and officially retcon anything. I mean heck, as of today September 28th, 2023, Boba Fett’s ship is still called Slave I on both the official Starwars.com and the wiki.
And you know what? They shouldn’t. Jizz is an objectively hilarious name and word. It makes anyone who says it in regards to Star Wars giggle a little bit, and that’s good. Even Young Han Solo can’t say it with a straight face. Or should that be Solo Hand?
Look the fact is Star Wars Jizz isn’t hurting anyone. If some little kid asks you what Jizz is you can just tell them it’s music from old movies their grandpa likes. No harm. For the rest of us, it adds a little more joy to the world.
It allows a bunch of tired old adults to crack a few smiles as we all write really serious articles about fake music. So for now I hope Max Rebo keeps on wailing his Jizz out and Figrin D’an and the Model Nodes can keep on spreading their Jizz in cantinas across the Galaxy. Jizz on your crazy fans, Jizz on.
Do you enjoy Jizz? Let us know in the comments!
