D&D: Five Ways to Be a Criminal Without Playing a Rogue
Crime pays, and doubly so in D&D. But what if you don’t want to play a Rogue? Don’t worry, there’s still plenty of ways to do crime.
Be gay, do crimes, so the saying goes. And while we can’t help you out with the being gay part (we can only show you the door, you have to open it), we absolutely can help you be a criminal. The legal department requires us to clarify that this is for only being a criminal in D&D.
While playing a Rogue is traditionally the easiest way to do it, you don’t have to be a Rogue to do crimes in D&D. There are plenty of options you can take at character creation that will have you ready to do crimes to your larcenous little heart’s content.
Be a Pirate
Crime pays, and piracy pays most of all. This is especially true today when piracy can help you download a car, pizza, or whatever else you desire. But piracy in D&D is especially fun because D&D’s setting is all about boats and swashbuckling and getting gold pieces from unlikely places.
Start with the Pirate background, which gives you proficiency in Athletics and Perception, as well as with any and all water-based vehicles and Navigator’s tools. It also gives you a Bad Reputation, which allows you to get away with minor criminal offenses, such as refusing to pay for food at a tavern or breaking down doors.
Back that up with an intimidating class like Barbarian or Fighter and you’ve got the makings of a fearsome criminal.
Be a Charlatan
Lying to everyone isn’t necessarily a crime. But lying and then cheating is sure to be. Consider playing a Charlatan, aka the Charisma-based criminal. With the Charlatan background, you get proficiency in Deception and Sleight of Hand, as well as Disguise and Forgery kits. More importantly, you get a set of weighted dice, a deck or marked cards, or some other kind of con game tool that can help you bilk rubes out of their money.
You also get a False identity, which lets you adopt a whole different persona.
Combo this with a Charisma-focused class like Sorcerer or Bard or Warlock and you’ll be ready to lie, cheat, and possibly steal your way through any adventure.
Be a Smuggler
Smuggler is the kind of criminal that you decide to play when you want to be cool. And if you take the Smuggler background, you get plenty of ways to be cool. Including proficiencies with water vehicles and Athletics and Deception. But you also get a fancy leather vest, which is exactly what any cool criminal needs.
Smugglers know people everywhere they go. Their contacts with a network of smugglers can help them keep a low profile. But every Smuggler comes with a crime already on the books. Here’s one example of what you might have done:
Spirit of the Whale. You smuggled stolen dwarven spirits in the body of a dead whale being pulled behind a fishing boat. When you delivered the goods, the corpse suddenly exploded, sending whale meat and whiskey bottles for half a mile.
Combine this with a class that’s flashy, like Monk, Artificer, or Bard, and you’re good to go.
Be a Spy
Being a Spy is another kind of cool criminal. But they’re more sneaky and less prone to bragging about what they’ve done. Spy is a variant background, which gives you Deception, Stealth, gaming sets and thieves’ tools as proficiencies. It also grants you access to a secret spy contact who can help you liaise with a network of spies that can deliver messages and more for you.
Pair this with a class that excels in deception and reconnaissance like a Monk, Ranger or, weirdly enough, the right kind of Wizard, and you’ve got all the makings of a master spy.
Join the Clasp
Finally, if you want to just be a plain old criminal, consider being a Clasp Member. This Background, from Tal’Dorei Campaign Setting Reborn, defacto makes you a criminal. You’ll learn Deception and either Sleight of Hand or Stealth, as well as learning how do use the criminal tools of your choice. You even learn Thieves’ Cant and you don’t have to be a Rogue!
Members of the Clasp have already done at least one crime, which means they can call in a nebulous favor (though they will be called upon in return).
Pair this with literally any class, and you’re ready to get out there and do crimes! In D&D!
What’s your favorite way to do crimes in D&D?
