D&D: Five Ways To Hide That Loot
Today is, for whatever reason, a good day to talk about all the ways you can hide your character’s personal wealth.Keep your treasure safe!
When it comes to D&D, nothing feels worse than working hard, delving into a dungeon, clearing out every encounter, detecting every trap, fighting the boss, and making it out of there with a whole years’ worth of loot, only for some bandit or fiend to come along and part you from your hard earned wealth. You don’t want that to happen to you. You needed that gold!
It could pay for new pages in your spellbook. Or a resurrection diamond. At least a revivify one, should you need it. And knowing the way your campaign is going these days, how likely is that? Exactly!
You’ve got to save that hard-earned loot. You’ve got to keep it safe. Well here’s a few ways to hide that wealth.
Portable Hole
They say you can’t take it with you, but whoever they is never had a portable hole. With a portable hole, you basically get to tap into the phenomenal cosmic power inherent in the Looney Tunes. You have a hole you can bust out that you can either put on a wall or a floor and it opens up into an extradimensional space within which you can store a surprising amount of wealth.
Whether it’s gold or silver, art objects, or just magic items you’d like to keep handy, keeping your wealth in a portable hole is an excellent way to keep it safe from prying eyes.
Daern’s Instant Fortress
Is a portable hole too finicky? Do you have more wealth than will easily fit in a 10 foot hole in reality? Well then you, my friend, probably need Daern’s Instant Fortress. Though it may look like a simple six-sided cube, it’s actually a square tower just waiting to spring into action.
With a single action, you can cause it to become a 20 foot square, 30 foot high tower complete with battlement. Making it a combination Scrooge McDuck style portable money bin and also defensible fortress in one.
Demiplane
Of course, if you really want to store your wealth somewhere where evil can’t touch it, you’ll want the 8th-level Demiplane spell. This spell creates a door to a personal plane of your own design, 30 feet in every dimension, making it even bigger than Daern’s Instant Fortress. Plus, after an hour, it can’t be accessed by anyone unless they can also cast Demiplane and know the existence/metaphysical whereabouts of your Demiplane.
Real Estate
If you’re looking to tie up a lot of money, there’s always real estate. Of course, this is harder to hide, but take a little time to establish on paper somewhere a shell company name, or some other organization, like the “Waterdhavian Sewer Mage’s Council” and you’ve got yourself plenty of leeway to set up some real estate in town. You could build a Guildhall for as little as 5,000 gp.
But if you wanted to live extravagantly/hide more substantial wealth, build a Temple (50,000 gp) or noble estate with manor (25,000 gp). Of course that’s the off the rack price, you could presumably spend even more.
Pretend to be a Dragon
Hear me out. When have you ever heard of someone who wasn’t an adventurer of some kind ever raiding a dragon’s hoard? It doesn’t happen. And in this world, you’re the adventurers. Surely you could handle anyone that isn’t you.
All you have to do is either create rumors of a dragon or take over an existing dragon’s lair (harder to do) and then go around scaring everyone off by setting things aflame while disguised as a dragon so that everyone knows there’s a dragon over there in yon cave, and they should keep themselves safe by staying far away from it. Just watch out for any meddling kids and/or their dogs.
How do you keep YOUR wealth safe?
