Games Workshop: New ‘Warpstone’ Jewellery Coming …Soon?
[Checks date] Oh yep. Don’t believe everything you read on the internet. Especially today. Games Workshop is having some April Fools fun.
It’s that “special” day of the year where people make stuff up on the internet. But this time it’s supposed to be a joke. And this gag from Games Workshop at least comes with a clever video to tease us. Anyone want to score some Warpstone Jewellery?
“Where lesser jewellers use so-called ‘precious’ stones for their baubles, our friends from the city of Hel Crown use only the finest raw warpstone from a glowing cave they found under the town square. Its natural vividity and gentle warmth make it the perfect gift for partners who appreciate the adventurous, and who won’t be held down by archaic concepts such as ‘diamonds are forever’ or ‘your hand should have fingers, not toes’.”
Warpstone Jewellery – The Gift of Change
So, obviously, this is a fun gag about using Warpstone as jewellery. While it might sound like a good idea to the uninitiated, Warpstone is a not something you’d want to keep on your person. Or even close by. From the Lexicanum:
Warpstone is a realmstone of impossible impurity, a crystallisation of magical energy corrupted by Chaos.
Warpstone is insidious by nature, its presence alone gruesomely bends reality and cannot be handled safely. In desperation people resort to warpstone and it is the most widely spread realmstone present in all realms except Azyr. Warpstone floods the user with arrogance and power thus they begin to believe its dangers to be exaggerated but the most merciful result is quick death caused by a sudden spark or energy flux. Survivors will be twisted in mind and body as their worst vices are magnified while mutations begin to appear at a increasingly rapid pace. The soul of the user comes to the attention of Chaos Gods each of them attempting to drag the victim to their own ruinous path. The final result is the warpstone user spreading corruption to everyone and everything they held dear. The greatest example of this is the Blight City itself, a cancer that continuously destroys itself while also consuming everything it touches
Look, this stuff is basically radioactive material — but chaos magic instead of actual radiation. The video is pretty cheeky if you listen to the “presenter” and read the “warning label” scrolling on the bottom. Good times.
That said, GW has already dabbled in clothing, toys, coins, and more. Could they also dabble in Warhammer branded jewellery in the future? You know, if it wasn’t made of Warpstone, I’m betting there would be folks interested. Maybe this is one of those “we’re joking…but if you actually want this product let us know” type of April Fools gags. Stranger things have happened!
Don’t delay! Buy-Buy Today!
