D&D: Five Ways to go Goblin Mode
Say what you will, but D&D 5.5E won’t have fully activated goblins on day one. Fortunately, there’s still time.
Goblin mode is the ultimate power fantasy. And not just in D&D, but real life. Oxford Dictionary’s 2022 word of the year sells it pretty plainly:
A type of behavior which is unapologetically self-indulgent, lazy, slovenly, or greedy, typically in a way that rejects social norms or expectations.
In other words, being a weird little feral gremlin. And that’s one thing D&D 5E has over its coming cousin: a variety of ways to play goblins without having to do any extra conversion work. And sure, maybe that won’t be a lot.
But goblin mode is all about talking the way way out, so here’s five ways to do exactly that.
Goblin
May as well start with the gimme. Why be anything other than obvious, and it doesn’t get more obvious that you’re gonna go goblin mode than by being an actual, literal goblin.
Goblins were updated in Mordenkainen Presents: Monsters of the Multiverse, and the form they have there is probably the closest to the eventual fawning of official goblin rules in 5.5E.
With abilities like Nimble Escape that let them hide and disengage as a bonus action, or Firy of the Small that lets them add their proficiency bonus to damage rills a few times per day, these little unseelie Fey descendants have got a lot going for them.
Hobgoblin
When you want to be a goblin without necessarily being a small, feral little gremlin, Hobgoblin is your answer. Sometimes you want to be a sort of walking disasterpiece, who ambles Jar-Jar-like through the scenery, and Hobgoblin is perfect for that.
Hobgoblins have an ability called Fey Gift that lets them take the Help Action as a Bonus Action. And at higher levels, they can even give temporary hit points, extra speed, or even a “debuff on attack” to a friend. On top of that, they also can turn one of their misses into advantage for an ally.
So turn that bad luck into somebody else’s problem by picking Hobgoblin during character creation.
Bugbear
Of course, sometimes you want to be a big guy and still be completely goblin mode. Well that’s where Bugbears come in. These are about as big as it gets, while still being goblin-y. Bugbears are notorious for turning up in the strangest places, like some sort of boogeyman. You just turn around, and there they are.
Big. Furry. Goblin. And with surprising strength, an aptitude for killing during the first round of combat, and an absolute hatred of playing fair. When you want to be a big problem AND the big solution, play a Bugbear.
Tabaxi
They may not be “goblin” goblins. But if you’ve ever known a cat, you know exactly just how much of a little goblin one can be. Just tell your favorite cat todo something and watch what happens. Or better still, wait until your lovable doof of a cat decides to zoom around the house. Yeah. Basically a goblin
And Tabaxi are cat-people, emphasis on the cat. It doesn’t get much more goblin-y than being a cat. And with the Tabaxi’s ability to run very fast when they need to, these furry weirdos make for the perfect goblin alternative.
Kenku
Finally, when it comes to goblins, birds are perhaps the ultimate goblin. They make a lot of squawking noises, their feathers get ruffled, they will absolutely be a menace to society if you let them get away with it.
And of all the D&D bird people out there, Kenku are the most idyllic. They are natural born mimics and can imitate almost any sound they’ve heard. Combo that with a lust for life, and in particularly a curiosity about flying, and you have all the makings of a fine goblin.
How will you go goblin in the new edition?
