D&D Beginner’s Guide: How to Be a Respectful RPG Player
If you don’t want to be known as “the rude one” during tabletop games then you’ll wanna read this article on how to be the best player you can be.
What makes playing a game with friends fun in the first place is the fact you’re doing it together. The last thing anyone wants is to have their or someone else’s experience ruined because of one person’s negative inputs. Socializing over a nice round of rolling dice can be done without being a Cheeto-munching Neanderthal.
Normally, in TTRPGs, it’s the Dungeon Master’s responsibility to uphold the proper campaign etiquette. However, it does fall primarily on the player(s) themself to not start out-of-character trouble in the first place.
Sometimes these misbehaviors can be accidental. Talking over someone else out of excitement—we’ve all done it—or holding resentment toward a real person because of in-character drama.
Unfortunately, at other times, they’re done on purpose. Violently targeting another player’s character in-game or being a bully at the table is never, ever okay.
Want to foster a collaborative, fun space along with your fellow players? Try these tips to help you keep yourself in check!
Dude. Chill Out. It’s Just a Game.
TTRPGs and war games can be mentally taxing games. They also require a lot of time investment. Especially for those really putting themselves into the character. However, that’s no excuse to turn in-game issues into out-of-game issues and vice-versa.
Sure. You might’ve been really attached to an NPC that got blown to smithereens by your Wizard companion’s fireball. Or maybe your opponent brought a Forge World Knight and tabled you on turn one. Just remember: You are not your character. And you did not just witness actual people get brutally massacred.
Whenever something deeply emotional happens, try to take a moment and actually separate yourself from the story. Do some breathing exercises. Remind yourself that it’s just a game, and remember that playing a game is something to have fun with.
It’s okay to feel emotional over something. Especially when its something you invest so much time and effort into. Just remember that, at the end of the day, your parents didn’t actually get murdered by an evil mastermind. In fact, they’re probably actually sitting in the family car, waiting to pick you up from the game store.
Shut Up When You Don’t Own the Talking Stick
We get it. You’re excited to play the game. But so is everyone else at your table.
When someone else is talking—let them talk. This isn’t a video game where everyone has their own controllers. You can’t do whatever you want whenever. Instead, you have to give others the time to shine.
Is someone describing their action, or having a crucial moment with another player or NPC? If you aren’t involved with the scene, stay uninvolved. Or ask if you can walk in on the conversation or join the roleplay. Don’t just burst out and ruin the vibes.
This is an issue that often happens between players and DMs. I know I get absolutely kicked out of my flow if a player talks or roleplays in the middle of me setting up a scene.
Just understand that you will have your time to shine! Its okay to sit in silence every once in awhile. But if you’re feeling like you don’t have enough time to do the things you want to do, don’t shove your way into other situations. Instead, talk to your DM in private, and discuss ways for you to feel more involved.
Hey, Sorry, Could You Repeat That?
Now this is a problem I feel everyone has had at least once in their life.
Picture this: Your DM is setting the scene. The fauna and nature around you and your party is being described. The sounds of animals enlighten your still waking ears, bringing the start of a new day as the sun rises over the horizon. You can smell the scent of fresh pine, feel the dirt beneath your feet. Did it rain last night? You aren’t sure. You were too busy having the best sleep of your life.
As you and your party venture down the long forest road together, you find yourselves—
“Wait what? Where are we? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention, my bad,” your party’s Barbarian suddenly blurts out. They’ve just looked up from their phone after losing a round of Angry Birds.
For some, games like Dungeons & Dragons can be escapism. The chance to forget about the hardships of the real world for a couple hours by getting lost in a fictional one. For DMs, its often used as a medium to tell a story, a chance for them to let others see the creative thoughts inside their head.
But when a player isn’t paying attention to what’s going on, maybe just waiting until the next combat encounter, it can be a massive blow to campaign morale.
Of course, it’s okay if it happens every now and then—we’re only human. It’s hard to get a group to stay fully attentive for multiple hours straight.
But when someone makes a habit out of it? It’s insanely disrespectful to both the other players and the DM. By frequently not paying attention, you’re telling the DM, and your party members that you don’t care.
Empathy, Empathy, Put Yourself in the Place of Me!
The best advice I can give to be a more respectful, well-mannered player at the table is to just employ basic empathy practices.
Whenever you feel like doing something that might be disrespectful or obnoxious to those around you, ask yourself: Would I feel good if someone did this to me? I mean its pre-school, really. But playground issues like this happen so often, I can’t help but feel obligated to say something about them.
I know I only mentioned a brief handful of issues here, but these were are the few that I feel are the most important to keep in mind. Wherever you go. Both at the table, and in real life.
Do you have any suggestions on how to be your best self when at the table? What are some table etiquette tips you’d like others to hear?
