D&D: Five Ways to Do Crime in D&D and Get Away With It
Running D&D for rogues and scoundrels can be tricky. But here are five ways to do crime in D&D that won’t spoil everyone’s fun.
Criminals are a staple of fantasy stories, and doubly so in D&D, where everyone can be a little roguish. Rogues most of all, of course. But you can have larcenous Bards. Criminal Clerics, purloining Paladins, even misappropriating Monks. But if your party isn’t ready to do some crime in D&D, it can be tricky to play that kind of character.
Especially because most parties are good. But few are lawful. But you can still do crime in D&D even when you’re not doing a whole campaign about running a thieves guild. Here are five crimes that will feel good to pull off, if you can. These crimes tend to skew a little more towards chaotic good, but the details are always in your group’s hands.
Steal from a Pompous Merchant
The quickest way to get away with doing crimes in D&D is to steal from someone the party doesn’t like. Pick someone the party feels aggravated by. Draw on the natural animosity and you’ll find the streets paved with willing allies.
If you’re the DM, there’s a lot you can do to help this along. Find a pompous merchant, then give them a trail of betrayed partners and former friends left behind as they “rose to the top.” Make them rely on society’s rules for protection. Let their power and status shield them from the consequences of their arrogance. It’ll be so much more satisfying when the party breaks the rules.
Frame a Corrupt Guard
Nothing like a good corrupt guard as a great path for doing crime in D&D. These archetypes are a dime a dozen in fantasy stories: guards who are in it for the power and the thrill of using it. They extort money from merchants in order to “protect them,” while stomping out the local thieves’ guild with brutal efficacy.
Until your merry band of criminals comes along. Because if you’re going to do a crime, you may as well have someone else take the blame. And if it’s someone else that society wants to see fall, all the better.
Highway Robbery (Tax-Edition)
Another crime to get away with? Borrow a page from Robin Hood. Find the tax collector on the road and demand their money or their life. Even the most lawful good character would take issue with unjust taxes.
Of course, you have to actually have them in D&D in the first place. So you might have to sow the seeds a little; ask your DM if the kingdom collects taxes. Maybe they don’t and you’re living in a magical utopia where wizards and druids provide for all. Or the DM will think for a few moments and realize there must be tax collectors. Tax collectors with guards—but how well are those guards paid?
Grand Theft Carpet
Another one that requires a bit of legwork. But if you can find a wizard with a magic flying carpet (or any other conveyance), then stealing it makes for an exciting adventure all on its own. But frequently this can be a mission to launch another quest.
Indulge in a little thievery, set off on an adventure, and return when the heat dies down. A perfect system! What could go wrong?
Run the Jewels from Jewel Runners
Finally, if you’re worried about doing crime in D&D and not being good? Steal from those who are stealing from others. There’s almost always a thieves’ guild somewhere in the world.
Which means you know where a gang of criminals is—surely it can’t be a crime to steal purloined goods from them? Especially if you give them back to the people they were taken from to begin with.
Happy qdventuring!
