D&D: Five Monsters That, Let’s Be Honest, You Wanna Eat
There are plenty of monsters in the manual, but which ones do you most want to eat? Here’s our top five picks.
Look, don’t blame me for this one. WotC put out that video about what monsters would taste like. So now it’s hard to stop thinking about which monsters to eat.
Not like that. That would be a wildly different article, and one we probably couldn’t publish on this site. Though if not, just @me, I’ll do it. See if I don’t.
In the meantime, these are probably some of the more, if not delicious than, at least, epicurean monsters in the manual.
Knucklehead Trout
Let’s start with the only one on this list that appears in the actual D&D cookbook. The Knucklehead Trout appears in Heroes Feast as well as Icewind Dale Rime of the Frostmaiden. It’s a big fish with an armor-plated head that is canonically both delicious and dangerous (because they can often pull unprepared fishers beneath the ice).
Eating one of these is a gimme.
Gelatinous Cube
Now we’re talking. Let’s get right to the good stuff. This is the one that almost everyone’s probably thought of at least once. Sure, it’s made of acid. But just look at it clear and quivering, firm yet dripping with slime, not like that, it’s the epitome of the intrusive thoughts won.
And win they will. These things are made of acid and will dissolve you just for getting close. But hey, they probably taste pretty good. And the mouthfeel, if you could insulate your tongue with elemental resistance, would be incredible.
Chuul
Magical eldritch lobster monsters? That comes with two giant claws and a whole tail? Not to mention they’re large. Which means one of these takes up a ten-foot square. That’s a lot of delicate seafood, if freshly caught.
Sure. They are drawn to magic and have paralytic tentacles that will render you helpless so they can drag you beneath the waves to a watery grave. But what’s a little reward without a lot of risk? And lemon butter sauce?
Space Eel
These space eels are capable of surviving in Wildspace and the Astral Sea. There, they often attach themselves to spelljamming ships, eating whatever strange space barnacles they can get their hands on. They’re swift, fly, and can latch on, draining a creature of blood when provoked.
And they can unleash a paralytic poison from their tail spine as well. Which probably just adds to the flavor palette.
Tarrasque
Yeah, this one’s more about the bragging rights, and not wanting a bunch of scavengers to come collect your giant kaiju than actually being any good, but what a legendary feast the Tarrasque would make.
What are your picks for most delicious monster?
